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Song Parodies -> "Flub-Gown Girl"

Original Song Title:

"Uptown Girl"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Flub-Gown Girl"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Computer problems have prevented me from appearing much here lately, including in time to do my usual post-Academy Awards parody. So here it is: The 7th Annual Bjork Awards for the worst in Oscar fashion.
(instrumental & vocal group intro)

Flub-Gown Girl!
See Sarah Jessica in bridal whirl.
She's married to that Matthew Broderick.
I'll bet he told her that dress made him sick!

And now I pick another
Flub-Gown Girl!
Whoopi Goldberg, leopard-spots unfurled.
I wish she hadn't suited up in that.
She looked just like a pregnant wild cat.
Not where it's at!

Amanda Seyfried, my eyes bleed this ti-yi-yime!
Not "Mamma Mia!"
"Oy Vey," makes me whi-yi-yine!

Meryl Streep, what have you done?
You looked better as a nun!

Flub-Gown Girl!
And Tilda Swinton made me want to hurl.
She must be tired of her high-class toys.
But I can't stand her lousy fashion choice.
She looks like boys!

(vocal group bridge)

Flub-Gown Girl!
Marisa Tomei dressed in pleats that curl.
I really like her but I must confess:
Not even George Costanza liked that dress!
Oh, what a mess!

Scarlett O'Hara, in Tara she ma-ya-yade
dresses from curtains, for certain, she play-ya-yayed.
Miss Biel, the same choice-make.
Who dressed her? The Timberlake?

Oh, what a
Flub-Gown Girl!
Young Miley Cyrus thinks that she's a pearl.
Does she remember that she's just sixteen?
Tried "classy jailbait," but fell short, it seems!
Billy Ray's schemes?

(vocal group bridge)

Flub-Gown Girl!
She's a Flub-Gown Girl!
Well, don't you know, I don't love me a
Flub-Gown Girl!
A Flub-Gown Girl!
Well, don't you know, I don't love me a
Flub-Gown Girl!
A Flub-Gown Girl!
Well, don't you know, I don't love me a
Flub-Gown Girl!
A Flub-Gown Girl!
(repeat 'til fade)
I swear, Tilda Swinton looked like one of the Culkin Brothers. No improvement over last year's Bjorks, when I said she looked like Clay Aiken. And who looked great? Beyonce, Amy Adams, and especially Best Actress winner Penelope Cruz. Natalie Portman and Alicia Keys looked great in pink, although Pink was nowhere to be seen. So what.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

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Max Power - February 25, 2009 - Report this comment
555 to counter the uno-bombing, make sure you write the one about Heath Ledger's win
adagio - February 25, 2009 - Report this comment
That was an excellent snopsis of all the fashion there and was very funny . 5's again to counter the lower score and because I liked the parody.
adagio - February 25, 2009 - Report this comment
I meant 'synopsis' and see he/she hit again. Darn!!
Christie Marie M - February 25, 2009 - Report this comment
I also countered the uno-bombing as well! This is one theme song for the fashion police! I frequently get caught by the fashion police and my mom is also one of them! This song would also make people like to say things like "Oh, God, what the heck is she wearing?!" Tell it like it is, adagio! 555!!
Christie Marie M - February 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Oops, my bad, I meant you, Michael! Adagio and Mike, sorry about that mistake! :(
TJC - February 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice flambayin' of all that haute manure!
Invisible Boy - February 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Well done Michael, and thanks for the information. I missed the show and now I feel I'm back up to speed.
alvin - February 26, 2009 - Report this comment
hilarious stuff....boy, the oscars sucked this year...enjoyed your parody though

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