(instrumental introduction)

Newt Gingrich was knocked off of his saddle
Republicans lost last year's big race
His party spent a lot of time, and they prayed
That they wouldn't fall too far behind

Newt Gingrich is now in purgatory
This House Speaker acted with no brain
His fat grinning face and his weird name (short, not long)
His bomb-throwing style just made it plain

Did Newt ever know he was a zero?
He's everything we don't want to be
He's a big liar, perhaps illegal
Newt got no wins for the right wing

Republicans feared that we would notice
But we knew what they'd planned from the start
Now they all know they'll get the boot, when we go vote
They will be nothing without Newt

Did they ever know Newt was a zero?
He's everything we don't want to be
He's a big liar, perhaps illegal
Newt got no wins for the right wing

Did they ever know Newt was a zero?
He's everything we don't want to be
He's a big liar, perhaps illegal
Newt got no wins for the right wing,
'Cause Newt got no wins for the right wing

Did they ever know Newt was a zero?
He's everything we don't want to be
He's a big liar, perhaps illegal
Newt got no wins for the right wing

Did they ever know Newt was a zero?
He's everything we don't want to be
He's a big liar, perhaps illegal
Newt got no wins for the right wing,
'Cause Newt got no wins for the right wing