Song Parodies -> "Poisson"

Original Song Title:

"Poison"

Original Performer:

Alice Cooper

Parody Song Title:

"Poisson"

Parody Written by:

SPryce

The Lyrics

From the point of view of a French chef, falling in love with a fish he's supposed to fillet.

My knife can’t slice
Zis fish so nice
One slip could kill
My blade, your gills

I wanna taste you, but I had a big lunch (big lunch)
I wanna hold you, but the head chef tells me to chop
I wanna kiss you, but I’ll only get judged (fish love)
I wanna love you, Latin name Merluccius

Poisson
You're poisson sitting on ze plate
You're poisson
I don't wanna cook zis hake

In town, fresh bought
No net, line caught
Your skin, still wet
Please be my pet

I see you lie there with your nostrils and fins (and fins)
Don’t wanna cut you - all I want is to know your name
I wanna touch you on your scaly skin (fish skin)
I wanna kiss you, and your lips are puckered up

Poisson
You're poisson sitting on ze plate
You're poisson, I don't wanna cook zis hake
Poisson

One slip (one slip) could kill (could kill)
My blade, your gills

I wanna love you, but I’ll only get judged (fish love)
I wanna hold you, but my head chef tells me to chop
I wanna touch you, but I want it too much (too much)
I wanna kiss you and I know you’re not venomous

Poisson
Oh, poisson, kiss me on ze face
Poisson, I gotta get you outta this plaice
Poisson

I wanna taste you, but I had a big lunch (big lunch)
I wanna hold you, but the head chef tells me to chop
I wanna kiss you, but I’ll only get judged (fish love)
I wanna love you, Latin name Merluccius

Yeah!
Well, I don't wanna cook zis hake
Poisson (poisson) no
Don't wanna see you grill in flames
Don't wanna (poisson) serve you as a main
Poisson (poisson)
I don't want (poisson) to cook zis hake
Poisson (poisson)

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Chef Louis from The Little Mermaid - July 15, 2024 - Report this comment

Les Poissons! Les Poisssons!
Hee hee hee! Haw haw haw!

Glenn Walker - July 15, 2024 - Report this comment

When I saw the title "Poisson," I was excited that someone could write a parody about statistical probabilities. (Yes, I am a major geek.) So I was deflated when I opened your parody and had to dust off my High School French to realize that you were talking about fish. Then I was thoroughly grossed out when I read about what the parody was about with fish. But since the purpose of my comments is to inject some substance into the comment section, my reaction to reading this will not be a factor. Actually, I liked the way you subtly took an Alice Cooper song, and simply by doubling the s, you were able to create this entire parody. I'm just not going to end it with "Thank you for sharing." Your parody passes all the things I generally look for. Clarity, rhyming, accents, syllables and overall impressions, so kudos for that, Were I to rate it, I'd probably rate it (maybe) 552. But that would be unfair to you. It's my hangup, not yours. So, you do good work. Care to give one about the statistical function a try?

SPryce - July 16, 2024 - Report this comment

Thank you! And sorry for any offence caused by the fishy subject matter… I was not aware of the mathematical Poisson, and I don’t think I’m good enough at maths to properly understand it. However, I will see what I can do.

Glenn Walker - July 17, 2024 - Report this comment

Go for it if you like. Frankly I was kidding. It would be a fool's errand.

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