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Song Parodies -> "Creflo Dollar"
Original Song Title:
"Super Trouper"
(MP3)Original Performer:
ABBA
Parody Song Title:
"Creflo Dollar"
Parody Written by:
Edward Genereux
The Lyrics
This ABBA parody discusses the evils of prosperity preachers such as Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer, T.D. Jakes and, of course, Creflo Dollar, to whom it is addressed. In case you don't know, the Not-So-Reverend Dollar has a blatant practice of having the congregation of his World Changers megachurch near Atlanta deposit money at the steps of the stage, upon which he and his associate pastors scream such B.S. like "your bills are paid" and dance on their hoard. What do they do with that hoard? Well, they buy million-dollar houses, private jets and Rolls-Royces. Alas, such is the reality of the prosperity gospel. God doesn't neccesarily want us to be rich, but to have good terms with Him and His Son Jesus Christ. Instead, the prosperity preachers are emphasizing salvation by works rather than salvation by faith or (as in my Catholic faith) putting the two on even footing. In fact, Dollar once said he would send any non-tithing member of his congregation to a firing squad, where at the count of three "Jesuses," they would shoot the non-tithers dead and then bury the corpses in a mass grave, having worship shortly afterward.
Intro.
Creflo Dollar, you are in great trouble
With the heav'nly host.
Therefore, do not boast
About the Rolls-Royce you call "Ghost."
Stanza I.
I heard that you wanted all our cash
When I saw you preach at the World Dome.
I will never add unto your stash
Of those luxuries, so I went home.
Though I would like your McMansion or your Hummer,
Higher-minded are my thoughts.
I can see your full demise when Yahweh God will have you caught.
Refrain.
I hate you, Creflo Dollar, for how you've departed
From the Word of God.
When you're in the sod,
Heaven won't be your abode.
Oh, Rev'rend Creflo Dollar, tell me 'bout your preachings
Of how we can be rich.
What's your one true niche?
There must be some kind of fine-print hitch.
Stanza II.
There's over 9000--all brainwashed--
Who attend your so-called anointing;
And there's millions more who watch online
All this crap that is disappointing.
My Lord Jesus, He will put you with the goatherd
On the greatest judgement day.
If you even once desire to get out, there won't be a way.
Refrain.
Oh, Mr. Creflo Dollar, I hope you'll leave your evil
Ways right in the dust.
Yahweh says we must
And become among the just.
Creflo Augustus Dollar, purging your non-tithers
Ain't the way to go.
Your scare tactics blow
'Cos in God's eyes, they just won't do.
Bridge.
Don't make your congregation tithe
Or else not one of them might yet remain alive.
When God comes down to judge the heavens and the earth,
He will examine all your deeds and words.
Refrain.
Oh, not-so-rev'rend Dollar, I have heard you lying
O'er 9000 times.
We don't need no rhyme
Or cause to confiscate each dime.
Oh, Mr. Creflo Dollar, I will hereby protest
What your preachings are.
You think you're a star;
But we know you just want that car.
Oh, Mr. Creflo Dollar, Congress is a-coming
To expose your fraud;
Glory be to God!
They'll bulldoze all the things you bought.
Creflo Dollar, you are in great trouble
With the heav'nly host.
Therefore, do not boast
About the Rolls-Royce you call "Ghost."
Stanza I.
I heard that you wanted all our cash
When I saw you preach at the World Dome.
I will never add unto your stash
Of those luxuries, so I went home.
Though I would like your McMansion or your Hummer,
Higher-minded are my thoughts.
I can see your full demise when Yahweh God will have you caught.
Refrain.
I hate you, Creflo Dollar, for how you've departed
From the Word of God.
When you're in the sod,
Heaven won't be your abode.
Oh, Rev'rend Creflo Dollar, tell me 'bout your preachings
Of how we can be rich.
What's your one true niche?
There must be some kind of fine-print hitch.
Stanza II.
There's over 9000--all brainwashed--
Who attend your so-called anointing;
And there's millions more who watch online
All this crap that is disappointing.
My Lord Jesus, He will put you with the goatherd
On the greatest judgement day.
If you even once desire to get out, there won't be a way.
Refrain.
Oh, Mr. Creflo Dollar, I hope you'll leave your evil
Ways right in the dust.
Yahweh says we must
And become among the just.
Creflo Augustus Dollar, purging your non-tithers
Ain't the way to go.
Your scare tactics blow
'Cos in God's eyes, they just won't do.
Bridge.
Don't make your congregation tithe
Or else not one of them might yet remain alive.
When God comes down to judge the heavens and the earth,
He will examine all your deeds and words.
Refrain.
Oh, not-so-rev'rend Dollar, I have heard you lying
O'er 9000 times.
We don't need no rhyme
Or cause to confiscate each dime.
Oh, Mr. Creflo Dollar, I will hereby protest
What your preachings are.
You think you're a star;
But we know you just want that car.
Oh, Mr. Creflo Dollar, Congress is a-coming
To expose your fraud;
Glory be to God!
They'll bulldoze all the things you bought.
Among "Reverend" Dollar's loot: a million-dollar home in Atlanta, a $2.5 million home in Manhattan, two Rolls-Royces, etc.
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User Comments
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Never heard of this dude. I'll have to look him up. Sounds like a real scam. When someone starts talking firing squad, he's way out of line. Threatening to shoot people is hardly the way to build a congregation. Not when you can be ordained by the Universal Life Church for free, and start your own ministry. This loony makes Fred Phelps seem almost sane by comparison. Security code for this comment "JC6". If I need help of a spiritual nature, I'll stick with good old "JC1".
Certainly a deserving target. Weird the way some people get caught up in this particular 'gospel.'
Edward - You can tell the Germans, you can tell the Dutch, you can "tell-a-vangelist", but you cannot tell them much! This particular group makes Pat Robertson and Jim Bakker look like St. Francis of Assisi. Great song! ;D
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