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Song Parodies -> "Virgins Go Crazy For An Unwashed Wan"

Original Song Title:

"Sharp Dressed Man (and others)"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

ZZ Top

Parody Song Title:

"Virgins Go Crazy For An Unwashed Wan"

Parody Written by:

Callmelennie

The Lyrics

Starting out doing Matthias' "ZZ Top/facial hair thingie and it just metastasized into a entire album side for ZZ Top's Muslim alter ego -- "Azizi Ta'ap" (عزيز طعاب)
Ground dirt .. wont shave
Wasting away in this Afghan cave
Skin rash .. beard lice
Is this the way to Paradi-yi-yise?
They'll come loving just as fast as they can
All of Allah's virgins love an unwashed man

Hair filth .. tangled beard
Makes me wonder why I volunteered
Throat itch .. scabbed skin
That MOAB blast is gonna do me in
They'll come to comfort just as fast as they can
Virgins go crazy for an unshaved man

Corpse bloat .. crushed flat
I dont mind cause I'm where Allah's at
Prayer cap .. white thobe
Looking sharp, looking to probe
They'll come a-loving just as fast as they can
All of Allah's virgins love a martyred man

(This one is to LA GRANGE, and makes reference to the fact, that in ancient times, the city of Medina was known for a fever that was a hazard to non-natives. Many Muslim emigres died of it)

Rumor spreading round .. that Meccan town
Bout a preacher talking deranged
(You know who I'm talking about)
Jes' lemme know; if they need to go
To that Jew town* that's found uprange
(They got a nice pox for them up there, HAH!)

Have mercy! al 'lah, lah, lah, lah, lah
al lah, lah, lah

Well, the air can kill .. If it's Al-Lat's* will
And one summer should do them all in
(A hmm, hmm)
And I hear the blight's .. from mosquito bites
And they might be out-breakin'

(Next up "Waiting For the Blast/Prophet Just Left Medina" From Azizi's album "Thalath Rajl"* (ثلاث رجل) First part refers to a botched terrorist attack in 2012. Second part makes reference to one of Mohammed's most notorious acts -- the execution of 800 Medinan Jews who conspired with his Meccan enemies)

Have mercy, being waiting for the blast all day
Have mercy, been waiting for the blast all day
I got the brown propane tanks to make blasphemers pay

Have mercy, Tomes Square be packed up tight
Have mercy, Times Square be packed up tight
Well I'll be sending infidels to Allah tonight

Wallah, that fuse didn't burn out right
Wallah, that fuse didn't burn our right
Well I'll be waiting on Obama for Miranda Rights

(Cue change of case power cords)

Prophet just left Medina
And he's surrounded by jihadiin
Well now, Prophet just left Medina
And he's got mujahediin
Warring on one clan to another
And all tribes in between

Took a chop at some poor dhimmis
Well, bloody plotters bled like swine
Hey now, took a chop to some Jew dhimmis
BLOODY plotters bled like swine
Then on up to sack Khaybar
For the slaves and concubines

You wont see him in person
But he'll see you just the same
You wont meet him in person
But you'll kill for him just the same
You dont have to worry
Cause you'll do it in Allah's name

(By golly, one more tune and I'll have an album side!! How's about a take off of "Tush' called "Hoor" -- in reference to Al Houri, the Arabic name for the celestial virgins)

Been shot up .. been gunned down
Had my corpse .. blown all around
You couldn't ask me for more
Allah take me skyward
I'm just dying for Al Hoor

I've been bad, I've good
Hajj in Mecca .. trawled BeiRUT-OOT
I ain't asking for Moors
Said Allah take me skyward
I'm just lusting for Al Hoor

Take me up, to your throne
Not just for me, for my BRO-OHs
We ain't asking for more
Said Allah take us skyward
We're just lusting for Al Hoor




*The city of Medina was founded by Arab Jews ..... *al Lat -- Meccan goddess .... *Thalatha rajl -- Tres Hombres

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