Thatchmaker, Thatchmaker, sew me a thatch
Curve my behind, unlatch my hatch
Thatchmaker, Thatchmaker, vest me a breast
And make me a gorgeous patch

Thatchmaker, Thatchmaker, flap me a gap
Slip me a lip, down on my lap
Slash me a gash, notch a crotch where I pee
And change me transsexually

Whack off my fam'ly jewel'ry
So, I'm queen, where I used to be king
Sedate me, and slice off my tool'ry
And, I'll be as grateful as anything

Thatchmaker, Thatchmaker, carve me a cave
Place me an ace, down where I'll shave
Knit me a slit, and unroll me a hole
Unharness my feminine soul..

Thatchmaker, Thatchmaker, dish me a fish
Mat me a cat, rig me a fig
Please be artistic, don't slice it too big
Weave me a "Beav", spot me a twat
Pitch me a niche, so, I can catch
Some man with my brand new Snatch..