-> "Klause, Do the Hedge"
Original Song Title:
"Close To the Edge"
Parody Song Title:
"Klause, Do the Hedge"
The Lyrics
1. The Overtime I Charge
I work for a big millionaire, I groundskeep his estate
I rearrange the landscape for a very meager rate
And achieve it all with implements I tow behind my car
And waste the fruit that drops into the yard and crushing all the flowers
I am ridding trees of insects and I am pruning every one
I water all the shrubbery, make sure they get some sun
I take away the leaves that seem to move with every wind that's blowing
Down from the ledge, 'round every corner
I hear the call, I hear the call
Klaus, do the hedge, needs to be trimmer
I do it all, I do it all
Got a raise around the end of just last summer
Boss man said he thought I did a real nice job
Was about to quit that day the chainsaw got me in the knee
Getting out of minor surgery I worried
Missing work I knew I'd get so far behind
When I came on back I knew the boss had not forgot my name
Klaus, do the hedge, you'll need a blower
Then go and edge, got you a mower
Reason the grass is high
I mow up, I mow down
Seems like it's not over and done
Planting a pine, fill in the hole
2. Very Vast Terrain
My eyes were filled with pollen, I was younger than this once, I think
I changed when my divorce was final, came back from the brink
I took this job to show that bitch I can't afford to pay
That lawyer sent a bunch of bills and that's the reason I still here today
Was alimony that forced me to stay and plant some seeds
As I gave up my practice to work here pulling the weeds
It's my reward for having kids I must support and hear the yelling
Klaus, do the hedge, Klaus, clean the corner
Now you can edge, don't have a Miller
Klaus, you're not done, time now to water
Down near the pond, stop up the river
Suddenly I see my life laid out before me
All in all the journey seems to be a pain
It's not part of any reality that I've ever seen and known
Always something, and my back I'm always wrenching
Grassy knolls and that always grow too fast and high
As I cross from side to side I view a very vast terrain
Klaus, do the hedge, need a new trimmer
Sick of the edge, I'm late for dinner
Reasons the grass is high
I mow up, I mow down.......
3. I Mow Up, I Mow Down
In her white lace, I can see the big man's daughter in the garden
Wearing skimpy outfits
As I push this noisy mower on the plain
(I mow up, I mow down)
(I mow up, I mow down)
Two million dollars she's not satisfied
She hangs around waiting for dad to die, someday
The big inheritance she hopes to get
The giant lotto hasn't come quite yet, her way
(I mow up, I mow down)
(I mow up, I mow down)
If I were daddy I would cut her out
If she were my kid there would be no doubt, no pay
Who am I kidding? I'm a simple grunt
There's nothing I can tell that high-priced girl- no way
(I mow up, I mow down)
(I mow up, I mow down)
(I mow up, I mow down)
(I mow up, I mow down)
4. Reasons For Ban
The time for my retirement is as distant as it seems
The constant bags of fertilizer make me want to scream
Insecticides are coming back in my face from the breeze
My allergies are kicking up- I cannot stop a mighty sneeze
Ah-choo Ah-choo
Then according to the butler I have now been freed from hell
The old man bought the farm and little darling will now sell
This house will be torn down and all the garden will be down the well
On this hill I stand and look at my creation
Pretty soon they're gonna build a mall right here
Once it's gone I'll never have to hear "The Man" remark
Klaus, do the hedge, Prune all the roses
Packed up the tools, rolled up the hoses
Reason I'm not the guy
I got canned, I got fired
I got canned, I got fired
I got canned, I got fired
I got canned, I got fired
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 4.5 | |
How Funny: | 4.6 | |
Overall Rating: | 4.6 | |
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Total Votes: | 11 |
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Voting Breakdown
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| 4 | | 2 | |
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| 5 | | 8 | |
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