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Song Parodies -> "Ain't Walkin' Round Grubs"

Original Song Title:

"Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love"

Original Performer:

Van Halen

Parody Song Title:

"Ain't Walkin' Round Grubs"

Parody Written by:

Porfle Popnecker

The Lyrics

I know your views, baby
Every life is pristine
Yeah, you want insect detente, baby
But I'm not nearly that green, oh yeah

Ain't walkin' round grubs
Cause all that walkin' is a chore
Ain't walkin' round grubs
Chumps shouldn't be on the floor, yeah the floor

I know your veggie-food cookin'
A meaty treat's a sin
While you're avoiding my turducken, baby
I butter up another hen, say when

Ain't walkin' round grubs
As I am trottin' to a smore
Yeah, ain't walkin' round grubs
They better roll out the door
The door, the door, the door

Ain't walkin' round grubs
No pussyfootin', no galore
Ain't walkin' round grubs
I, like, put them on ignore, uh ignore

I'm clippin' the hedge
Until it's good and pruned down
I mow the lawn and trim the fence wires, baby
I'm not inclined to step around

Mmmm, so if a grub don't wanna squeeze-play it, baby
Yeah, it got to got to freeze baby
Mmmm, not want to want to grease baby
Hey, it got to got to cheese baby

Ain't walkin' round grubs
They will be trodden by the score
Ain't walkin' round grubs
My hikin' soles are at war, at war, at war

Ain't walkin' round grubs
Don't wanna stalk around grubs
Don't Peter Falk around grubs
My bunions balk around grubs, insoles, insoles, ahh

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Dylan Baranski - February 28, 2020 - Report this comment
A well-executed parody of one of my favorite VH songs! Here's $555 for the exterminator.
Porfle Popnecker - February 28, 2020 - Report this comment
CML - March 01, 2020 - Report this comment
Every once in a while a darker side of Porfle shows up, a Darth Porfle, if you will. And then, look out beetle larvae!!
CML - March 01, 2020 - Report this comment
Suggested edit for the newly-nihilistic Porfle, "You know I stomped a bunch of PESTS there, baby." .......Also, send "They will be trodden by the score" straight to the Porfle Hall of Fame. No five year waiting period; straight in.
Porfle Popnecker - March 01, 2020 - Report this comment
Good suggestion. :) I'm glad my "trodden by the score" line hit home!
Agrimorfee - March 02, 2020 - Report this comment
Silly stuff, you kinda lost the coherence though during the "got to got to" bridge. But as Young Simba once said about grubs, "Slimy, yet satisfying!" 555
Porfle Popnecker - March 02, 2020 - Report this comment
Thanks! I actually think I was hitting my peak of coherence during that part! :)

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