Granny... she's a loon my granny
Granny... 84's my granny
Granny... doing chores my granny
Granny... she's insane my granny
She'll whoop my fanny, gladly
When a switch is handy, GRANNY!!!
Talkin' about my granny
She's so tough, my granny

Not every kid has a macho, macho gran
who controls everybody, including my dad!
Jogging in the morning, rain, sleet, or snow
Pumping 5 lb wrist weights, as she goes
It's hard to believe that she's a macho gran
Never forgets a birthday, always she pre-planned

(Chorus)
Stays! Stays! Stays... for days!!!
Macho, macho gran (macho gran)
She'll always be a macho gran
Macho, macho gran
She'll always be a macho gran

Macho, macho gran
No Senior Living for this gal... Damn!
Macho, macho gran (tats rad)
Smokes cigars, has a condo!

Granny, stays in shape, my granny
Granny, rides a Harley, my granny
Granny, swears like a sailor, my granny
Granny, could tell off Gordon Ramsay!
Granny, don't you tease my granny
Granny, balls will get kneed by granny
Granny, loves her God, my granny
Granny, uses the rod, my granny

No to movies and video, at yard work we do balk
In the worst of weather, always she's the boss
Sit up straight, no talking, in church we sing
Better read your Bible, dwell on saintly things
It's hard to believe that she's a macho gran
In her biker leathers, part of the Sturgis clan!

(Chorus)

And takes care of babies (as nanny)
Granny, granny, granny- head of the family
Granny, granny, granny- drinking down strong brandy
Granny, granny, granny- her family was from Italy
Granny, granny, granny- the other half from Germany!!!

Although rough, I love my macho, macho gran
Cherishes her freedom, drives a big sedan
Has a classic style and a strong appeal
Always on our side, she's the real deal
It's hard to believe that she's a macho gran
A very special elder always in demand

(Chorus)

(She's got a pencil mustache)
(Always barking orders)
(She's a handful)

But we still love her!!!