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Song Parodies -> "Bone of Contention"

Original Song Title:

"Ball of Confusion"

Original Performer:

The Temptations

Parody Song Title:

"Bone of Contention"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Since the week of Reagan posterior-puckering is over, we can now get back to the nation's most important business: Kicking the fascists out of the White House. (Oh, if only we had done that in 1984!) Pardon the pun, but the Temptation here is to change as few of the words as possible, because the original lyrics come pretty damn close to fitting 2004 as much as they fit 1970. The part of Dennis Edwards is taken by Al Franken of Air America, author of "Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot" (written before we knew Rush was a big fat hypocritical drug addict" and "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look At the Right" (written before we knew Bill O'Reilly was a lying bully who could dish it out but not take it -- the Eminem of Emesenbecee). Since Eddie Kendricks sang falsetto, his part is taken by a woman, Eleanor Clift of Newsweek and "The McLaughlin Group," author of the new "Founding Sisters." The part of Paul Williams is taken by Paul Begala of "Crossfire," author of "The Bush Dyslexicon." And the part of bass singer Melvin Franklin is taken by Begala's "Crossfire" and Clinton campaign temmate, "Colonel Cueball" himself, James Carville, author of "We're Right, They're Wrong" and the new "Fighting Back." Or, in the case of these guys, fighting the backward. Granted, there are five Temptations on the record, but the group's founder (and only surviving original member, as Dennis replaced David Ruffing), Otis Williams, never sang lead. Michael Moore, author of "Dude, Where's My Country?", takes his place, and we're all thankful HE doesn't sing!
Eleanor: People moving out, people moving in
barely getting by, by the teeth of their skin.
Group: Bum, bum, bum, in Texas he still hides.

Eleanor: An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth!
"Vote for me, and Iraq is free!"
Group: Crap on, Dubya, crap on!

Al: The only person fit to serve the Bush Administration
is a preacher!
And the CEOs resemble nothing more or less...
than a leecher!
Labor union, no communion
Dubya's minions' nuts opinions!
Aggravation, humiliation
indignation of our nation!
Group: Bone of contention!
The guy who runs our U.S.A.!

Paul: The sale of pills goes to Rush Limbaugh!
Rumsfeld's prisons give us shock and awe!
Our people ashamed of this bummer crime!
Eleanor: And ohhhh...
Group: The beatings go on.

Al: Evolution no solution
gun control ain't their goal
line their pockets way too much
kick old people, steal their crutch.
Republicans say more tax cuts
will solve everything!
James: The surplus is gonnnne...

Group: So 'round and around and around we go.
What this guy will do next, nobody knows.

(harmonica break)

Al: Ahhhh, great googa-mooga
Dubya, gonna sock it to ya!
Group: He's a bone of contention!
The guy who runs our U.S.A.!

Eleanor: Fear in the air, Ashcroft put it there.
Unemployment's rising fast.
Fifty bucks a tank of gas.

Al: And the only safe place to live
is Cheney's undisclosed location!
James: The Trade Center's gonnnne...

Eleanor: Eve of disgustion, tax reduction.
Paul: Homeland protectors, judge rejectors.
James: Mob shows in demand
Republicans out of hand.
Al: Homicide, Prozac pills
Enron fraud and oil spills!
People all over the world
wish we'd voted for Gore!

James: Well, we did
but the votes are gonnnne...

(harmonica break)

Al: Ahhhh, great googa-mooga
Kerry, votes are comin' to ya!
Group: He's a bone of contention!
The guy who runs our U.S.A.!

Paul: Lemme hear, lemme hear,
lemme hear, lemme hear!
Group: He's a bone of contention!
The guy who runs our U.S.A.!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

MrMacphisto - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
alvin rhodes - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
funny...and how true
Johnny D - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Pretty intense, MP, powerful political editorial. Good job.
Michael Pacholek - May 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Since Paul Warren didn't have the guts to allow comments on his Bush posterior-pucker song... what the hell, he shows just as much courage as his idol did in the Vietnam years... I'm going to comment here (and thus plug my own song as well). The numbers refer to the verses of his song "The Ballad of George W": 1. He'll free Iraq and Afghanistan? He has freed neither. Warlords still rule most of Afghanistan, and the people of Iraq would've voted for his boy Allawi if they felt free. 2. He'll get our jobs back? When? His crazy harebrained tax scheme cost us three million jobs, and the only reason they've finally been made up is population growth -- as in the new jobs are mostly service-sector and thus paying far less than the old jobs. 3. Kerry could run in 2008, but Edwards will never feel great, unless I need a lawyer. So even in praising Democrats, you got it wrong. Bridge: Bush doesn't want to save Social Security, he wants to destroy it. And he ain't taking his soul with him when he dies. It's already been sold. 4. Once again, Georgie bows down to the royal family of Saudi Arabia. Let us never, EVER again let another oilman get that close to the White House. It is a recipe for disaster. 5. A lot of success? At WHAT?!? Bush is the biggest failure in Presidential history! Well, at least since Nixon! No, we don't want to crucify him. Just incarcerate him. But I'll settle for the verdict of history, which is inevitable: FAILURE.

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