(The Monitor Beacon, in its aural glory, followed by opening riffs overlaid by select excerpts from, say, "The Wild Thornberrys")

Please allow me to introduce a blog
That may not quite be what you would want
From a weblog claiming to be opinionate,
And badly-written, some would say;
Not to mention of questionable loyalties
And slow downloads, but anyway:

Love to have you
Check out what may well be
The Worst. Weblog. Ever.
(And try not to laugh so hard!)

Though the Monitor Beacon may now be stilled,
Remembered but in memory,
And the shaving-cream atom, Iludium Phosdex,
May be so difficult to find,
That very name is the nom d'Net
Of its creator, who tells of you:

Love to have you
Check out what may well be
The Worst. Weblog. Ever.
(And try not to laugh so hard!)

'Cause Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly and
Fox Noise, you simply have no time for
Devoting all of your beautiful online time;
Perhaps you need a choice alternative
Such as "the daily phosdex" is,
With online shopping to kill the time
Beyond reading the tripe which passeth
For the comments there to be found--

Love to have you
Check out what may well be
The Worst. Weblog. Ever.
(And try not to laugh so hard!)

(guitar riff)

And in case you may be wondering
Who this "Iludium Phosdex" is:
He's from that rather magical(?) place
Called Minnesota, in case you ask;
He prefers Wisconsin Dells
Over Branson for his holidays,
And has a past history of
Psychiatric treatment--but don't blame drugs--

Love to have you
Check out what may well be
The Worst. Weblog. Ever.
(And try not to laugh so hard!)