Drink one more PBR
The worst of all the beers
Osbournes on a crappy show
Crowd laughs and starts to jeer
I sit in this old bar
Same one I've done for years
But now it's closing down
And I'm breaking into tears

Try one more Red Merlot
No liquor after beers
Tell me where would I go
It's like the set of Cheers
Ate some more oreos
The same as years and years
And when I pay my tab
Takes all I have

When the bar is closing down, you drink the rest of what's still around
When the bar is closing down, you drink the rest of what's still around

Drank one more Spanish Fly
To pulverize my brain
Take drinks out on my own
And wake up in the rain
Pick up the telephone
Called up some cabs for years
No one will pick up me
I've scared away my peers

When the bar is closing down, you drink the rest of what's still around
When the bar is closing down, you drink the rest of what's still around

When I feel lonely here
Don't waste my time with fears
I'll burn my throat again
On cheap domestic beers
Don't like the food I eat
Peanuts are running out
Same nuts they've used for years
They kind of smell like feet

(Repeat chorus 2 more times)