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Song Parodies -> "Colonoscopy"
Original Song Title:
"Question"
(MP3)Original Performer:
The Moody Blues
Parody Song Title:
"Colonoscopy"
Parody Written by:
The Comedian
The Lyrics
"Versed" (pronounced as two syllables "VER-sed") is a tranquilizer that doctors routinely give to patients undergoing colonoscopy.Versed has a powerful effect on the mind and usually blocks the patient's memory of the procedure.
(fast tempo)
(choir and hard-rock guitar intro)
(Patient: )
Doc said I have to fast for hours
So digestive tract is clean
He gave me stuff to drink to scour
My large intestine squeaky-clean
Now when I stop and look below me
There is nothing in the bowl
That drink did its gut-ablutions
But it's burning my a**h***
(fast tempo)
(choir and hard-rock guitar interlude)
Why do I need to take more cleanser
Guts are groaning at the thought
Because that sh*t is hard to swallow
It tastes like Starbucks I once bought...
(slow tempo)
(Proctologist: )
It's not the way
That you taste it
When you drink that stuff for me
It's more the way
Your guts need it
'Cause we want them to be clean
And when I stop
And look inside you
I do believe it's true
That all the drugs
You've been drinking
Have washed out all your poo
I'm looking through
Your colon with this light
I'm looking through
To see if things look all right
And if you could see
What I now can see
You'd just say "Wow" and drool,
'Cause colons look so cool...
(Patient: )
Between the camera
Shoved up my ass
And my urgent
Need to pee
There lies a gland
Called the prostate
And they're probing it
Hoo-wheeee !!
But in the haze
Of the Versed
My mind hallucinates
The Rolling Stones
Look like fish-hooks
And Keith Richards
Looks like bait...
(Proctologist: )
I'm looking in
Your colon - I know it's gross
I'm looking in
To extricate little growths
And if you could see
What I now can see
You'd lose your lunch and spew
So watch as I pull through
A sample of some goo
Before it grows too bold
And crawls out your a**h***
(Patient: )
It's not the way
That you say it
When you do those things to me
It's more the way
You enjoy it -
- that's what really creeps out me...
(fast tempo)
(choir and hard-rock guitar interlude)
(Patient: )
Seemed like my butt was probed for hours
By that snakelike camera tube
I was really whacked on Versed
Wished the doc has used more lube
'Cause when he stopped and said to sit up
I was glad that I could flee
From a world of butt intrusion
That is burning anally
(choir and hard-rock guitar instrumental)
(choir and hard-rock guitar intro)
(Patient: )
Doc said I have to fast for hours
So digestive tract is clean
He gave me stuff to drink to scour
My large intestine squeaky-clean
Now when I stop and look below me
There is nothing in the bowl
That drink did its gut-ablutions
But it's burning my a**h***
(fast tempo)
(choir and hard-rock guitar interlude)
Why do I need to take more cleanser
Guts are groaning at the thought
Because that sh*t is hard to swallow
It tastes like Starbucks I once bought...
(slow tempo)
(Proctologist: )
It's not the way
That you taste it
When you drink that stuff for me
It's more the way
Your guts need it
'Cause we want them to be clean
And when I stop
And look inside you
I do believe it's true
That all the drugs
You've been drinking
Have washed out all your poo
I'm looking through
Your colon with this light
I'm looking through
To see if things look all right
And if you could see
What I now can see
You'd just say "Wow" and drool,
'Cause colons look so cool...
(Patient: )
Between the camera
Shoved up my ass
And my urgent
Need to pee
There lies a gland
Called the prostate
And they're probing it
Hoo-wheeee !!
But in the haze
Of the Versed
My mind hallucinates
The Rolling Stones
Look like fish-hooks
And Keith Richards
Looks like bait...
(Proctologist: )
I'm looking in
Your colon - I know it's gross
I'm looking in
To extricate little growths
And if you could see
What I now can see
You'd lose your lunch and spew
So watch as I pull through
A sample of some goo
Before it grows too bold
And crawls out your a**h***
(Patient: )
It's not the way
That you say it
When you do those things to me
It's more the way
You enjoy it -
- that's what really creeps out me...
(fast tempo)
(choir and hard-rock guitar interlude)
(Patient: )
Seemed like my butt was probed for hours
By that snakelike camera tube
I was really whacked on Versed
Wished the doc has used more lube
'Cause when he stopped and said to sit up
I was glad that I could flee
From a world of butt intrusion
That is burning anally
(choir and hard-rock guitar instrumental)
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Voting Breakdown
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| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 2 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 4 | 3 | 4 |
User Comments
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Letting you know that once again you beat me by a day. This place is so hard to keep up with. I may wait to vote till I get over the anguish, the pain, the frustration, the futile brow-beating---Oh what the hell, If you think this much like me, you must be a genius. 555
Rick - if you tell me that your "Question" parody was going to be about colonoscopies, I just might run screaming away from my computer...that'd really freak me out, man... ;-)
Johnny? You doing all the Moody Blues? I won't protest..I love the band. I don't know this song, but I can tell from your description that no way will they ever drag me in there. Hehe! That was a good job!
No, it's a different song about the same subject. You'll see tomorrow, I'm putting it on anyway.
Thanks Adagio - I love the Moody Blues too. I plan to work on parodies for more of their songs, so stay tuned...
Rick, I forgot to thank you for your 555 vote - so thank you, man, very much. I'm relieved to hear that our brains aren't quite so closely linked via wireless-mental-synchronicity after all. I look forward to reading your upcoming colonoscopy parody!
Rick, I forgot to thank you for your 555 vote - so thank you, man, very much. I'm relieved to hear that our brains aren't quite so closely linked via wireless-mental-synchronicity after all. I look forward to reading your upcoming colonoscopy parody!
This was a good ANALysis of a butt wrenching procedure. Good one. Take 5 ver-sed and write another in the morning.
Thanks Guy!
Good, Johnny...you always do the song justice.
So, Johnny, you don't have to individually copywrite each one as long as you made that statement under parody authors? Interesting!
Thanks Adagio. I made that statement because it makes sense to me personally. Thanks for your positive feedback as always!
Johnny D - Oh man, FUNNY! I had the "short" version of the procedure (I think it's called "sigmoidoscopy") a few months ago and that was quite enough for me, thank you. I'm thinking maybe "Up, Up and Away" might work for these things. 5-5-5's, posted.
Thanks Paul - there seems to be a mini-trend floating around Amiright recently of parodies about proctologists - I think your idea of "Up, Up and Away" has potential - go for it !
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