Song Parodies -> Shakespearian Woman

Original Song Title:	"American Woman"
Original Performer:	The Guess Who

Parody Song Title:	"Shakespearian Woman"
Parody Written by:	TJC

The Bard's broads can be awfully hard on a guy... ~ MIDI here ~.

Shakespearian Woman
(by hapless male lead)
~

Shakespearian Woman-
Stay afar from me-ee!
Shakespearian Woman-
Wench, it's *not* to be-ee!
Don't come a' soothin' no sly riposte-
I don't wanna see yo' Daddy's ghost!
Quaff bane potion for love's show ?!?
Find yourself a dumber Romeo!
Hark, Woman-
Stayeth far away-ay!
Shakespearian Woman-
I don't like your play-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!

Shakesperian woman-
Drama Queen, et tu-eew?
Shakesperian woman-
All three Acts are Lew-ewd!
Don't be un-claspin' your 'Fortin-bras'-
Cover those Old Globes, hO-Fe-eel-Ya'!
Shakin' 'speares' with you one risks-
Shufflin'-off his mortal prick!
Hark, Woman-
Don't you know you're si-ick?
Shakespearian Woman-
Rather ‘do’ Yor-ick-ick-ick!

{ interminable lute solo by... Guesseth Whom... }

Shakesperian Woman-
Frickin' Leer'in' shrew-ew!
Shakesperian woman-
Cliffeth's Notes were true-eew!
Don't bother forcin' my chamber's door-
I'll be on the road from hElsinore!
I won't do your Lady 'Duff'-
Fie your three-way star-crossed muff!
All your 'men' end Hamletized-
Poisoned, clubbed, then stabbed in eyes
So Woman-
Keep yer bodice aw-on!
Shakesperian Woman-
Mama, be thee gone!

D'Oh!
Gotta get away, find another play-this one's too 'Poe'
I'm like thither Woman-
You stay hither Woman-
Bye-*bye*-eth!
Bye-*bye*-death!
Bye *bard*-breath!
Fie *gar*-lecth!

You're all 'rut' with me-
I'm all 'wrought' with you-
Y'got me $hittin' soliloquies
Had it with yer 'Much Ado'...

You know I shall de-*part*-eth-
You know I shall not *tar*-ry-
You know I'll hither *yon*-der-
You know I'm gonna 'stage left', Woman-
Gonna leave thee, Woman!
Duncan Ho-nuts Woman!
Get thee nunn'ry'd, Chick!

~~~

[ Henceforth this song tis available for download to your iClaudius
from Ye_Olde_Apple.com'eth ]

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alvin - February 09, 2009 - Report this comment

hilarious....and very clever...my fave of the day...you rocketh

Dee Range - February 09, 2009 - Report this comment

Get-eth thyself a band to record this. At the very top of your prodigious Top-10 list, which is quite a feat, and as good as Spaff's "Shakespearean Pie" epic which won Song Of The Year here several years ago. Bravo, TJC! 5's don't do this classic the justice it deserves.

LadyAchoooo - February 09, 2009 - Report this comment

Much 'Ado bout your Lady, my Lord! Me thinketh you doth lust for her Ladyship so, Sir !

Leo Keough - February 09, 2009 - Report this comment

When I saw the title, I thought, wouldn't it be great if this parody was done in 'bard-speak' and had lots of Shakespearean references...and my hopes were not dashed! Superb job!!!

AFW - February 09, 2009 - Report this comment

Five V or not five v...yes five V's...definitely...I totally agree with alvin...

Dreaded Mom - February 09, 2009 - Report this comment

5s! Forsooth, liked this from the moment I saw the title, and it didn't disappoint.

TJC - February 09, 2009 - Report this comment

You all most definitely 'art' way too kind and Puckin' awesome to booteth, especially Sir Dee whose praise floweth well and truly over-the-top (I'm not complaining, mind you, but still feel I grovel at your, Lord Spaff's and many others here's curiously iambic feet). Sincerest thanks ever and anon!

Stuart McArthur - February 09, 2009 - Report this comment

brilliant as usual TJC - too many good lines, etc. but I did LOL at Guesseth Who and "Rather ‘do’ Yor-ick-ick-ick!" - a lot of work went into this one, and a great OS for satirising the Bard - 555

Christie Marie M - February 09, 2009 - Report this comment

I giveth thee III sets of V's. ( Translation: 3 sets of 5's).

William Shakespeare - February 10, 2009 - Report this comment

A touch, a touch, I do confess - thou hast lampooned me well, Sir TJ of C. Thy parody exceeds man's might; that dwells with gods above.

(Hamlet, V: 2; Troilus and Cressida, III: 2)

Victoria's Secret (Norwegian Division) - February 10, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks for plugging our new lingerie line, the Fortin-bras!

Patrick - February 10, 2009 - Report this comment

Wonderful mix of modern language and Shakespearean dialog. Today's school teachers have obscured the fact that Shakespeare, in his day, was considered rather "low-brow" entertainment, the forerunner of modern sitcoms and soap operas. Thou hast also captured the sexuality of the Bard's plays.

TJC - February 10, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks all.... Stu: Appreciate the kind comments, glad the Yor-ick got yore Yor-yuck! Christie: Thanks for the 'giveth'... but just to warn you, most likely next parody you'll 'taketh away' Bill: Wow! Appreciate the quote, but me thinks you have me confused with Tomas Terrapin... Vicky: Thank *you*! (I'm wearing one now and I telleth you truely, it lifteth and separateth my couplets like no other! Patrick: Thanks... you sound, er, 'well versed' yourself!

McKludge - February 10, 2009 - Report this comment

Even stranger when you consider that back in the Bard's day, female roles in plays were often played by men. Top notch punnery.

Hamlet - February 11, 2009 - Report this comment

That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs.

(Hamlet, Act 3 Scene 2)

Invisible Boy - February 11, 2009 - Report this comment

I missed this yesterday but I have to say...this is fantastic, TJC. You had me at "Stay afar from me-ee!"

TJC - February 11, 2009 - Report this comment

McKludge: Thanks... me thinks the term 'tranny' doth be derived from Olde English? Hamlet: And perhaps fare, to booteth! IB: Thanks for voteths and commentary!

John Jenkins - February 11, 2009 - Report this comment

Excellent stuff, TJC, particularly the "Fortinbras/Ophelia" couplet.

Parody Keet - February 15, 2009 - Report this comment

Forsooth - I think thou hast a rapier wit! Huzzah!

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Song Parodies -> Shakespearian Woman

"American Woman"

The Guess Who

"Shakespearian Woman"

TJC

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