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Song Parodies -> "Drunken"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

The Grateful Dead

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Not autobiographical, never had a DUI or accident from drinking. I did stop drinking, however in 2001.
Drunken, smashed my bumper in
So drunk, man, a five-oh-two now, damn
Blithered, crossing over lines
No sh*t, I sure was stoned

Can't hardly see and I'm changin' CD's, drool on the seat
I swalllow some reds and a joint; I'm reading a Trump tweet
I'm sh*t-faced, no kidding, and now I'm impeding a JetStream
So damn drunk, can't see what is behind me

Got gas at a Dairy Queen
Chose some real tasty dip with cheese
Need fork to eat my refried beans
Got home and watched TV

Some folks are apt to drive down the street when they're too drunk
Then late at night they close down the bars then drive home
Then on the way they forget just where they are going
Smacked some guy's door, they don't leave a note with their phone

Drunken, I'm so screwed up, man
Cop told me., "Your Registration, man.
Outside! the car then raise your hands"
He then took me downtown

Got those police lights now shining on me
Walk the line? No, I can't, indeed
Safety? Don't occur to me
All night long - eight shots of gin

Over the curb, I frown, and then the police came
They tossed my car; it gets towed, I sure was ashamed
Sister, she said, "It's not hard to see you're to blame here"
In the end she told me that I was insane

Drunken, then I smoked a bowl
From drinkin'; in a cell, alone
Jail time, a d*ck-head, now I moan
I'm such a drunken bum

sh*t-faced I just passed out at the drive-thru window
Took a nip, I'm gonna drink some more now again
Seems like I just repeat, it's all so sad, though
It all seems like a warning; depressed I drink some more gin

Night stick in hand, "Turn around"
Then you face the gavel
"We're tired, a**hole, we don't want you driving thru town
License; revoked; a mess, so no more driving
They slam the cell door; lights out, there's crooks all around

Each night those guys all smiling at me
Doing time won't be good for me
Maybe I should switch to tea
Give my bong to my friend, Tim

Drunken; it was wrong I know
And so maybe I should swear it off
Atone; see now i should have known
Recovered; drunk no more

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

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CML - November 08, 2018 - Report this comment
I think you missed the stanza starting with "Busted, down on Bourbon Street" ... Still in all, this doesn't warrant ones. This could easily be a Big Seven tune, judging from its length and difficulty, There are thirteen stanzas in the OS (you've got twelve) .... I once attempted this song with an aborted parody of Obama's pot smoking days, to be entitled "Choomin" But I eventually threw up my hands and said "Too much work"
CML - November 08, 2018 - Report this comment
Of course it helps to be in the cohort that was born in the late Fourties and early Fifties. That's the age of the true dead Head. I was born in '56 so I was aware of this tune and that it was a really cool thing, but the lyrics never wormed their way into my subconscious. If you were my age, the Dead was something your older brothers and sisters were into
2Eagle - November 08, 2018 - Report this comment
Do the bars and liquor close on election day?
paul robinson - November 13, 2018 - Report this comment
CML - right you are, looking back I'm particularly annoyed with myself b-cuz the damned lyric site I used omitted that (and another verse) and I made a note when I copied them to fix it - fixed one but not the other. My bad.
CML - November 13, 2018 - Report this comment
I was led astray once by a lyric sites as well, Paul. But then again, how could you forget "Busted, down on Bourbon Street" Didn't every boomer your age run into trouble on Bourbon Street? It happened to a couple of my older brothers, who are your age
paul robinson - November 16, 2018 - Report this comment
I plead old-age and big-time carelessness, in that I even listened to the OS play-back b-4 posting -- I had the right number of verses & chorus sections, but I seem to have written the Bourbon Street sub-lyrics to a combo of other already done parts. Also, this is a reminder to never hit the button to submit when you are tired. Most likely would have caught the mistake in the morning. Now I've never been to Bourbon Street and also never been 502'd, but only b-cuz during my heaviest drinking period I lived directly across the street from my regular watering hole.

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