-> "Bleach, Baby"
Original Song Title:
"Beach Baby"
Parody Song Title:
"Bleach, Baby"
The Lyrics
(Oh, no, oh, whoa, woe, look here:)
(Guests go; rug [throw]: oy, vay, mir)
Do you remember just the other day (uh-uh-oh)
When everybody drove to our house: play? (there they go...)
Whatever happened!?! Such a filthy floor!
What fun, planned: brew-bust; now it's smelly and stale
Remember wadin' through the slimy slop (ewie, yuk!)
What guests were spewin' wasn't soda pop (messy muck)
Some Delta Sigma guys had hurled on door:
A puked-up Snickers™ and some moldy ale
Bleach, baby
Bleach, baby
Heavy demand:
College guys and the feminine gender
Some dude is snor- -in'; can't walk any more from the moonshine
Bleach, baby
Bleach, baby
Always on hand
Strong as lye, when you've been on a "bender"
Barfin' ain't fun when the drinking is done, gotta say
Bleah, I never thought I'd condescend
Boo hoo, da*n, Be scrubbin' from a kneel and bend (Ouch! Yow!)
Af-ter plays:
Piper: pays
Clorox™ stays
Don't think they're fading awaaaaaay!
(Sob, sob, sob; slobby mob: blob of glob here)
(Drunk nerd; My word! Wet turd smear)
They couldn't wait? Ejaculation stain (Oh, no, NO!)
They went too far and took it all the way (oh, Oh, OH!)
We shoulda' told 'em: "Wear that rubber thing"
Today they won't remember zany fling
Bleach, baby
Bleach, baby
Call me a fan (come save my can)
For its versatile whitening splendor (yes, any stain, can dismember)
Difficult chores I once squawked and deplored: viewed in new light
Bleach, baby
Bleach, baby
Loved through the land (Swine Flu, be da*ned) [2]
You can buy it from hundreds of vendors
Scrubbing is done, and you've more time for fun every day
[long interlude of incoherent moans and gripes at sore knees and aching backs]
(Barf, uck, up-Chuck, yucky lump)
(Roach clip, cheese dip, what a dump)
Bleach baby, Bleach baby
Peach, maybe? Reach, pray: me
Leach? Rabies? Screech! - scabies
Do it: Go, just do it....
[repeat with equal parts bleach and elbow grease until Code Enforcement Board removes "Condemned" sticker from front door]
[1] Written by John Carter and his collaborator-wife (Don't even *think* about it, Ms. Fiddlegirl! ;), Gillian "Jill" Shakespeare. Carter was born John Shakespeare, but probably got tired of all the same old jokes....
People who make fun of other people's names should be Bard, don't you think?
(Sheesh, we *try* to get away from endless parodies of Shakespeare, but look what a little background info turns up...)
[2] The Clorox web site linked in the outro credits has some claims about their product (admittedly a strong disinfectant) and the H1N1 flu. Didn't read it. No opinions here. (TT just stays as far underwater as possible, anyway ;)
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 5.0 | |
How Funny: | 4.9 | |
Overall Rating: | 4.9 | |
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Total Votes: | 7 |
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