She's laying there
in summer grass.
Mosquitos flying
move in fast.
She takes a long, hot,
steamy bath
and dries herself with
fiberglass.

(chorus)
Woo hoo
itchy woman.
That's not why she cries.
Woo hoo
itchy woman.
Histamine's gone to her eyes.
(end chorus)

Woolen blankets
in the night.
As she lays there squirming
bed bugs bite.
Her skin is crawling
to another room.
And she drove herself to madness
trying to crawl there too.

(chorus)

I know you wanna love her,
but let me tell you, brother
she'll put insulation in your bed.
There's some rumors going round.
She'll put you on the ground
where she will make you keep on scratchin'
'till your skin turns red.

(chorus to fade)