On a dark winter evening, computer mouse in my hand
Warm smell of coffee, rising up through the air
There on my computer screen, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
Then I went to the sign on screen;
I heard the got mail sound
And I was thinking to myself,
"This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'
Then AOL lit up my computer and AOL showed me the way
There were chatrooms with a click of a mouse,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Hotel AOLornia
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
Plenty of chatrooms at the Hotel AOLornia
Any time of year, you can find them here

AOL is chatroom-twisted, everyone's got a Mercedes Benz
There's a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that it calls friends
How they cyber in the chatroom, adults 4 vets.
Some cyber to remember, some cyber to forget

So I called up the cancel line,
'Please cancel my time'
He said, 'We've got a special here it's only nineteen sixty nine'
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the Hotel AOLornia
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel AOLornia
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis

Message boards about the ceiling,
Chatrooms that deal with ice
And tech said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
And in the cancellation chamber,
They waited just to leave
They canceled it on their credit cards,
"You can have 3 months for free'

Last thing I remember, I was
Picking up the phone
I had to find the server back
To the place I was before
'Relax,' said the technician,
We are programmed to receive.
You can signup any time you like,
but you can never leave!