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Song Parodies -> "Simon Cowell"
Original Song Title:
"Lyin' Eyes"
Original Performer:
The Eagles
Parody Song Title:
"Simon Cowell"
Parody Written by:
Bob Gomez
The Lyrics
Simon: the One's Guy of American Idol.
(Guitar intro)
Shitty girls seem to find out early:
"That was ghaaastly, painful, even trite..."
They stand up there, belting out and blurting
And Randy says, "Yo, dawg, that was aiiight..."
Eight at night, a big old house gets boring
Hey, there must be something decent on TV
That "Star Search" and "Survivor" I'm ignoring--
An hour of crappy singing, that's for me!
So I occupy the couch on Tuesday evening
Got suckered in again by all the ads
Here comes a guy whose singing sounds like bleating
Gee, and Paula Abdul claims it wasn't bad!!!
You can't hide from Simon Cowell!
That's no smile, it's a thin-lipped scowl!
Walk right out, throw in the towel--
There ain't no way to hide from Simon Cowell!
(Guitar riff)
There's a hundred million watchers out there waiting
For some twenty-something dreams and a few laughs
We tune in every week anticipating
Just to see who stays and who will get the shaft!
He tells 'em, "That was Oh-my-God, appalling...
Can't think of anything I've hated more...
It was absolutely horrendous..." They start bawling--
And I'm howling, choking, rolling on the floor!
You can't hide from Simon Cowell!
That's no smile, it's a thin-lipped scowl!
Walk right out, throw in the towel!
There ain't no way to hide from Simon Cowell!
Though this show reminds me of that "Gong" one,
They've got me hooked, I'm one pathetic guy!
Another night, it's gonna be a wrong one--
I told my friends I quit, but that's a lie...
And my, oh, my, they sure have shown us some lame things,
They set it up so well, so carefully--
Ain't it funny how this new year's all the same things--
How I can keep on watching baffles me!
You can't hide from Simon Cowell!
That's no smile, it's a thin-lipped scowl!
Walk right out, throw in the towel!
There ain't no way to hide from Simon Cowell!
Honey, you can't hide from Simon Cowell!
(Guitar riff and out)
Shitty girls seem to find out early:
"That was ghaaastly, painful, even trite..."
They stand up there, belting out and blurting
And Randy says, "Yo, dawg, that was aiiight..."
Eight at night, a big old house gets boring
Hey, there must be something decent on TV
That "Star Search" and "Survivor" I'm ignoring--
An hour of crappy singing, that's for me!
So I occupy the couch on Tuesday evening
Got suckered in again by all the ads
Here comes a guy whose singing sounds like bleating
Gee, and Paula Abdul claims it wasn't bad!!!
You can't hide from Simon Cowell!
That's no smile, it's a thin-lipped scowl!
Walk right out, throw in the towel--
There ain't no way to hide from Simon Cowell!
(Guitar riff)
There's a hundred million watchers out there waiting
For some twenty-something dreams and a few laughs
We tune in every week anticipating
Just to see who stays and who will get the shaft!
He tells 'em, "That was Oh-my-God, appalling...
Can't think of anything I've hated more...
It was absolutely horrendous..." They start bawling--
And I'm howling, choking, rolling on the floor!
You can't hide from Simon Cowell!
That's no smile, it's a thin-lipped scowl!
Walk right out, throw in the towel!
There ain't no way to hide from Simon Cowell!
Though this show reminds me of that "Gong" one,
They've got me hooked, I'm one pathetic guy!
Another night, it's gonna be a wrong one--
I told my friends I quit, but that's a lie...
And my, oh, my, they sure have shown us some lame things,
They set it up so well, so carefully--
Ain't it funny how this new year's all the same things--
How I can keep on watching baffles me!
You can't hide from Simon Cowell!
That's no smile, it's a thin-lipped scowl!
Walk right out, throw in the towel!
There ain't no way to hide from Simon Cowell!
Honey, you can't hide from Simon Cowell!
(Guitar riff and out)
©Bob Gomez 2004
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 |
User Comments
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Ladies and Gentlemen, your new Amiright Idol - BOB GOMEZ !
Bob, very funny and well done
Bob - Another gem. Fine work as usual. You got my 5s.
Oops, I forgot to mention, Bob, that you got three 5's from me, too - very well-deserved, for this superb parody.
Bob, Proceed to the second round. Fives!!
Bob, like a deadbeat tenant, you're just an Idol rumor. 5-5-5
Welcome to Hollywood, Bob! Three 5s from me too.
Bob, excellent job, 5-5-5...I've never watched the show but I've heard about Simon Cowell and his "resident nasty curmudgeon" role which he apparently embraces with relish ad enthusiasm. Dirty job but it sounds like someone must do it. I'm one of those weird folks who owns a T.V. (2 actually) but gave up watching it almost 100%about a year ago. I did still watch "C.S.I." (Las Vegas version only) until the last few episodes of last season but I gave that up, too, finally. The MTV late-night videos went when I dropped cable in August. So I'm way out of the current cultural loop. My brain heals in the interim. When I'm ready I'll watch again but I ain't anywhere near ready yet.
Thanks, AmiRighters, for the kind words. I swear last Tuesday's show was one of the funniest hours I've ever seen on network TV. Simon described the majority of contestants as "deluded," and I had to agree with him most of the time. The pure absurdity of people who have very little singing talent and still claim "I am here because I am the next American Idol" I find bizarre, hilarious, and approaching performance art. No actor or singer could TRY to sing as bad as some of these people. Anyway, it's about the only TV I have time for, so I allow myself the guilty pleasure. d;:^)
Simon wouldn't like this, but what does he know?
That was absolutely horrific. Really.
Yo what up dog! That was all 5's for me. You're the new Amiright Idle!
Good job!
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