Stumbling home after four in the morning
And the blue pills worked charms on the chick
But I'm thinking that a virus mighta got me
Damn I feel sick

You know I've always been a screamer
(Hate penicillin shots)
So I pop pills for pain
(Keep Walgreens sellin' lots)
But the sores I've seen lately
Keep returning back
And turning black
My burning crack's inflamed

So put me on a gurney
And roll me outside
And take me to the clinic one more time

You can chase every night, tailing swingers
You can swing every night, chasing tail
If your thing fell to pieces tomorrow
Would Valtrex still fail?

So I've been thinking amputation
(Yank this thing offa me)
Just a pain in the spleen
(Dang colonoscopies)
When there's nothing left for healin'
No more ballin' days
I'm all ablaze
It's hollandaise, but green

So put me in a textbook
And call this a crime
And take me to the clinic one more time

Take me to the clinic (Fleas!)
Take me to the clinic (Bubonic!)
Take me to the clinic
One more time