Nosferatu, why'd you submit to your urgin's?
You been out bitin' virgins for so long now
But this is London
And there's so few for bitin'
And simply to frighten them
Ain't worth it somehow

You joined the Vampire Temp'rance League
Sayin' killing is immoral
But it ain't the same, dining out on Quorn
So you're queuing at the blood bank
Want to make one more withdrawal
But they're telling you that you got overdrawn

Nosferatu, oh, you ain't gettin' no youger
It's blood that you hunger for and bitin' those necks
And bedtime - Bedtime - it's the dawn of encryption
And one-twenty-eight bit is way too complex

The police did not believe that crap
The teeth won't grow and the wings won't flap
They locked you in the slammer anyway
Escaped by shifting to a bat
I'd love to see them explain that away...

Nosferatu, why'd you submit to your urgin's?
You strayed from just virgins, took more'n just maids
Now I'm explainin' and I'm trying to teach ya
You know you ain't the only creature
(Ain't the only creature)
Not the only undead creature
Infected with AIDS