On a long gravel driveway
Cool wind in my hair
Dank smell of a chickenhouse
Rising up thru the air
Up ahead was a shanty
A decrepit old dump
The grass was high and the cars on blocks
I nearly tripped on a stump

As they stood in the doorway
I offered them my plea
"I was on my way to Albertville
"When my car slid into a tree"
So they asked me to come in
And they showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the Hotel Alabama
Such a country place ( such a country place )
For a change of pace
Sloppin' the hogs at the Hotel California
Any time of day ( any time of day )
You can play in hay

Cows feeding in the pasture
The pigs playing in the pen
A rooster keeps a very watchful eye
Over all his hens
As I looked 'round the barnyard
Face drenched in sweat
I knew this was one place
I'd rather forget

As I pondered my quandary
The man's wife said to me
"You remind me of an old boyfriend
"From Fayetteville, Tennessee"
That's when I knew I'd better get far away
Farmer's wife with a toothless grin
A redneck cliche

Welcome to the Hotel Alabama
Such a country place ( such a country place )
Better bring your mace
They're milkin' the cows at the Hotel Alabama
Anytime of day ( anytime of day )
You can play in hay

Rebel flag on the ceiling
Moon Pies and RC's
And she said
"Country life is so relaxing here;
"Wouldn't you agree?"
And in the farmer's kitchen
We gathered for the feast
The menu called for filet of squirrel
Deep-fried in bacon grease

Last thing I remember I was running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place I was before
"Relax," said the farmer
"Sit down, prop up your feet
"And enjoy a heapin' helpin' of
"Some of that rodent meat"