Well, I spilled something black when my oil rig exploded
The whole mess is icky and they say I'm to blame
Catfish are floatin', all the beaches are closin'
Black water keeps rollin' ashore, what a shame

Ol' black water keeps on flowin'
Fill the Gulf soon, but we'll keep refinin' BP
Ol' black water keeps on growin'
Executive goons, we're nickel-and-dimin' BP
Ol' black water keeps on rollin'
Up the Mississippi soon, gotta keep on lyin', BP
Yeah keep on lyin' tonight
Gotta say anything, shareholders gotta think everything's all right
And our high-priced attorneys say there ain't no big worries
At all

Now, if folks complain, I don't care, don't make no difference to me
I'll just ask Congress for a sweet ol' bailout
Yeah, I'm gonna meet some oily bureaucrats who'd like to play along
And I'll be buyin' all my buddies drinks all 'round

Ol' black water, beached petroleum
Fill the Delta soon, we won't be resignin', BP
Ol' black water reachin' Pensacola
Environmental loons, they're picket-linin' BP
Ol' black water up to Minnesota
Raise the price of crude, that's the silver linin', BP
And keep on lyin' tonight
Gotta say anything, tree-huggers gotta think everything's all right
With the world at our mercy, it's the Gulf of New Jersey

We're gonna screw up most of Dixieland
'Less Obama gives a big ol' helping hand
We need a hand (Out!)
Got our hand out (Hey Obama!)
Some cash would be grand, that's all we want

We tried golf balls, top kills, Costner fans
But nobody stopped the oil from reaching land
We tried a dam (Dam!)
Even cans of Spam (Hey, we're desperate!)
And we've locked and loaded a nucular bomb

We're gonna smear some gunk on Dixieland
Give the brown pelicans a darker tan
Dixieland (Tan!)
Give the birds a tan (Instant bronzer!)
Don'tcha stress about the dolphins 'cause they're all gone

It's like the Gulf got drunk at Disneyland
Then vomited all over Loosianne
Disneyland (Land!)
Up to Ketchikan (And Sri Lanka!)
We made Katrina look like a little cold front

All the shrimp and frogs and fish be damned
Soccer mama gotta fuel her minivan
Caravan (Van!)
Honda minivan (Hockey mama!)
Gotta drive to the Wal-Mart all day long

No need to import oil from Pakistan
When it's lyin' all over the Alabama sand
Screw Iran (Yeah!)
And Afghanistan (and Venezuela!)
We'll just go to the beach and grab tar balls

We gotta feed the grease monkey on your back
Everybody better cut us lots of slack
Cut us slack (Slack!)
Cut us lots of slack (Hey Obama!)
Yeah, we knew this might happen all along...