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Song Parodies -> "Black Water (BP Version)"

Original Song Title:

"Black Water"

Original Performer:

The Doobie Brothers

Parody Song Title:

"Black Water (BP Version)"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Even though I'm posting this under my own name, I collaborated on the lyrics with Steve Goodie. (So credit me for the parts you like and blame him for the parts you don't.) Steve also made a fabulous audio recording of this as well as a possibly-even-more-fabulous YouTube video. Check 'em out.
Well, I spilled something black when my oil rig exploded
The whole mess is icky and they say I'm to blame
Catfish are floatin', all the beaches are closin'
Black water keeps rollin' ashore, what a shame

Ol' black water keeps on flowin'
Fill the Gulf soon, but we'll keep refinin' BP
Ol' black water keeps on growin'
Executive goons, we're nickel-and-dimin' BP
Ol' black water keeps on rollin'
Up the Mississippi soon, gotta keep on lyin', BP
Yeah keep on lyin' tonight
Gotta say anything, shareholders gotta think everything's all right
And our high-priced attorneys say there ain't no big worries
At all

Now, if folks complain, I don't care, don't make no difference to me
I'll just ask Congress for a sweet ol' bailout
Yeah, I'm gonna meet some oily bureaucrats who'd like to play along
And I'll be buyin' all my buddies drinks all 'round

Ol' black water, beached petroleum
Fill the Delta soon, we won't be resignin', BP
Ol' black water reachin' Pensacola
Environmental loons, they're picket-linin' BP
Ol' black water up to Minnesota
Raise the price of crude, that's the silver linin', BP
And keep on lyin' tonight
Gotta say anything, tree-huggers gotta think everything's all right
With the world at our mercy, it's the Gulf of New Jersey

We're gonna screw up most of Dixieland
'Less Obama gives a big ol' helping hand
We need a hand (Out!)
Got our hand out (Hey Obama!)
Some cash would be grand, that's all we want

We tried golf balls, top kills, Costner fans
But nobody stopped the oil from reaching land
We tried a dam (Dam!)
Even cans of Spam (Hey, we're desperate!)
And we've locked and loaded a nucular bomb

We're gonna smear some gunk on Dixieland
Give the brown pelicans a darker tan
Dixieland (Tan!)
Give the birds a tan (Instant bronzer!)
Don'tcha stress about the dolphins 'cause they're all gone

It's like the Gulf got drunk at Disneyland
Then vomited all over Loosianne
Disneyland (Land!)
Up to Ketchikan (And Sri Lanka!)
We made Katrina look like a little cold front

All the shrimp and frogs and fish be damned
Soccer mama gotta fuel her minivan
Caravan (Van!)
Honda minivan (Hockey mama!)
Gotta drive to the Wal-Mart all day long

No need to import oil from Pakistan
When it's lyin' all over the Alabama sand
Screw Iran (Yeah!)
And Afghanistan (and Venezuela!)
We'll just go to the beach and grab tar balls

We gotta feed the grease monkey on your back
Everybody better cut us lots of slack
Cut us slack (Slack!)
Cut us lots of slack (Hey Obama!)
Yeah, we knew this might happen all along...
(c) 2010+ Steve Goodie and

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - June 16, 2010 - Report this comment
Spaff's back and amiright's got him! This is a real "Doobie" of a parody! (Does anyone on Earth still use the word "doozie" besides me?) ;D
Matthias - June 16, 2010 - Report this comment
This song looks like it was a son of a beach to pull off. Great political humor and extremely timely. I just heard about this a few weeks ago.
GDR - June 16, 2010 - Report this comment
Hey Spaff - love this one. Best line for me and the worst line for Michael Pacholek is...

With the world at our mercy, it's the Gulf of New Jersey

Yeah! I'm surprised that MP has not chimed in yet. =;-) I should be coming back for a bit as soon as I can get some stuff wrote.
Christie Marie M - June 16, 2010 - Report this comment
I echo all comments above! You and Townsend did a great job on writing spoofs about Oil Ocean Zones caused by BP. This is also a perfect OS to write about the subject. I also loved the verse switch of your satire. Nice to see you writing again! Purifying the environment with 5's! - June 17, 2010 - Report this comment
On behalf of SG & BP, TYVM to OMR & MS & GDR & CMM!
Jack Wilson - July 01, 2010 - Report this comment
Love it! FBP. 5s! - March 28, 2011 - Report this comment

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