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Song Parodies -> "Jesus is NOT Alright"

Original Song Title:

"Jesus is Just Alright"

Original Performer:

The Doobie Brothers

Parody Song Title:

"Jesus is NOT Alright"

Parody Written by:

Jeff in Richmond VA

The Lyrics

All things come from God.......Everyting I try to do goes wrong....I have really really bad luck.....therefore, bad luck comes from God....
Jesus has caused such strife for me
Jesus has caused such strife, oh yeah
Jesus has caused such strife for me
Jesus has ruined my life

I don't care if the priests are gay
I don't care what the priests all do
I don't care what the priest may say
Jesus has ruined my life, whoh yeah-----------------

(slow part)
Jesus......ain't my friend......
Jesus!! He ain't my friend........
He stuffed me in a can, dumped me out in no-man's land
Jesus ain't my friend.......

(fast part)
Jesus has caused such strife for me
Jesus has caused such strife, oh yeah
Jesus has caused such strife for me
Jesus has ruined my life

I don't care what the preachers know
I'll tell them where they can go!
I don't care what the preachers know
Jesus has ruined my life, whoh yeah------------

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.3
How Funny: 2.3
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Patrick - July 27, 2009 - Report this comment
You must at least believe he exists, if you blame him for your troubles.
Reverend T - July 27, 2009 - Report this comment
If Jesus ruined your life, you probably deserved it. With blasphemy like this song, you are giving amiright a bad name. Although you are entitled to your opinion, you won't get any sympathy from me. (Yes, Christians should get equal time here.)
SOTM - July 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Reverend T, you should know that the original was almost as bad as this song you call blasphemy, because the Doobies were named after a marijuana cigarette. Them singing about Jesus would kind of contradict their band name, except for people who believe in pot as part of their religion. So the next time you make biased comments about any so-called "anti-Jesus" song, consider the source of the original.
Guy - July 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Christian bashing - the last bash that will never be politically incorrect. Jesus said that we who follow Him will be hated as He has been. Jeff, if it makes you feel better to blame it all on Jesus, whether you believe it or not God will forgive you anything if you ask. I lost a child and I blamed it all on God and I turned away from Him. In time I was healed of the grief by the One that I so felt betrayed by. He knows how you hurt and he lets us hurt to make us stronger. Listen to the pain - it teaches brother.
DJ Blaze - July 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Guy, I had no clue you were Christian! I have been a devote follower of Christ since birth, and I have to say I disagree with this parody.
Guy - July 27, 2009 - Report this comment
DJ - I am not surprised that you are a saved child of Christ. In fact I was almost sure that you were. I have read through a lot of your parodies and I have studied the way you comment. This guy who wrote this parody does not need inflamed comments directed at him. Would Jesus berate him? I think not. Your brother is not your enemy. We know who the real enemy is. I don't know if my words to Jeff will do any good but all that I can do is plant a seed. I sow and the Lord cultivates. I'm already praying for Jeff and there is nothing he can do to stop me - will you join me?
DJ Blaze - July 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Of course I will, Guy. Let's hope God will have mercy on Jeff.
Melanie Lee - July 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Hey, I feel it's better to be honest before God and let him have it than to stuff it all and try to act pious. God knows how you feel, anyway. As for a band named "Doobie Bros" singing about Jesus, remember that Jesus told the Pharisees that tax gatherers and prostitutes would enter the Kingdom of God before they did. Now Jeff: I applaud your "letting it all hang out". Not funny but I'll assume you're being honest about your feelings. Don't worry: God can take it. BTW, you left out a stanza and a chorus, I think. 4-4-4. Read the first few and last few chapters of Job. God bless!
Andria - July 27, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm not an uber-religious woman, but the Man Upstairs, the Holy Ghost and that Jewish carpenter from Nazareth are close friends of mine, and I will say that although this parody is not funny to me, it is well-written. The U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights guarantee free speech and freedom of religion, and Jeff, I will also say that between the rules of this site and the aforementioned documents, your parody is definitely welcome here. I agree with all of the above comments except for that of Reverend T. May God bless you all, and 5s for pacing and overall, and a 2 for how funny.
rob - July 30, 2009 - Report this comment
i love when liberals try to stick up for God or Jesus when they and all thier politicians hate and oppose God, Jesus, babies, old people, people having freedom to choose, people having prosperity. funny huh? by the way, according to the Bible, God does not hate, nor is He upset at gays, lesbians, dope smokers, drunks, or anyone. someone in His family took the heat for everyone, and then they threw those laws or heat away, forever.
Below Average Dave - July 30, 2009 - Report this comment
While I disagree with your opinion on liberals hating God Rob, or babies, old people, freedom to choose etc--(though I can ascertain why you may feel that way) I do like what you have to say about gays, lesbians, dope smokers, drunks etc--judgment is wrong, and it's good some people recognize it's not our right to judge each other--it's funny that view coming from an open conservative--most Republicans preach against all those people, almost all ultra punitive, hateful, vengeful people I've met are conservative in nature--I commend you on that open mind side of your thinking.
Jeff, the author - September 12, 2009 - Report this comment
My parody is not meant for any other reason but to vent my frustration matter how much I believe in and pray to God, he treats me like a piece of dirt. I have bad bad luck that sometimes defies the laws of physics.... and there is only One in the universe who can do that. And to Melanie Lee, I have read the book of Job several times. NO ONE deserves to suffer like that over a $5 bet, which is actually what it really was. How cruel and heartless to do that to someone to prove a point! Job in the Bibles has got nothing on me!
Jeff, the author - September 27, 2009 - Report this comment
For further reinforcement of my beliefs and opinions of our beloved (sic) Creator, see the latest parody of the 60's hit song "Turn Down Day"......
Curious? - September 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Jeff the Author - Forgive me if I am wrong, but did you lose 12 children or all of your children on the same day, plus everything else that was you on that same day, except for a wife? If you have then that would put you even with Job.

I cannot imagine how a $5.00 bet could bring so much devastation. Also, I have searched the entire site for a parody on "Turn Down Day" and it is nowhere to be found.. Not being able to find the parody you have referenced makes your plight all that much more mysterious to me and probably anyone else who has seen your parody and commented to you.

If your situation is as dire as you proclaim then your best bet is to get some counseling. I am sure lots of people on this site would love to help you but we have no idea what is making you tick the way you do. You are either in a very dangerous place in your life or you are messing with us on this site. If you are not messing with us then I would suggest that you seek help before it is too late for you. I am praying for you.
Reverend Nevermind - November 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Although I thoroughly disagree with Jeff's song, I do believe every viewpoint must be given. A lot of people blame someone they can't see, like God, the Devil, Allah, even a dead person. I'm just glad I live in a country where are free to voice a controversial stand without persecution. And that the others that use cohersion and/or violence to intimidate these people are given the full extent of the Law. And I believe Christians shouldn't be persecuted, either, even though a lot of the writers on here show more disrespect towards them than any of the other groups. All beliefs should be heard, and we can only agree to disagree.

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