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Song Parodies -> "Why Do Blurred Smudgy Things Appear?"

Original Song Title:

"Close To You"

Original Performer:

The Carpenters

Parody Song Title:

"Why Do Blurred Smudgy Things Appear?"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

Yes, too much alcohol can be a pain in the arse - and here's how I found that out ........................................OS available here
Why do blurred, smudgy things appear
every time
I drink beer?
Just don't see
why that should be
(woe is me)

Why do stars form before my eyes
every time
I drink wine?
just wanna be

Yesterday, a case in point
I got a bit too sober
and decided to create a mojito
so I poured bacardi in my glass
and tossed some lime and ice-cubes in there too

Next thing I'm - falling to the...(to the ground)
chunks of...(chunks of lunch)
all around...(all around)
some on me
not nice to see
(quite yucky)

[ instrumental ]

Then the local coppers came
and put me in the slammer
with a bloke who thought his dreams'd just come true
And the next day when they woke me up
confusingly, some bits of me were blue

That is why...that was my last glass
Grog's a pain
in the arse
Still can't see
why that should be
C'est la vie

* to waiter *
Just give me
um, let me see
water, please

wah ah-ah-ah-ah, woe is me

wah ah-ah-ah-ah, woe is me


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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   12

User Comments

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John Barry - April 04, 2006 - Report this comment
Wonderful title. . .and tune.
alvin rhodes - April 04, 2006 - Report this comment
blotto !...uh, i mean bravo !
Tommy Turtle - April 04, 2006 - Report this comment
"bloke who thought his dreams'd just come true": LOL. "C'est la vie" also a nice touch.... S'pose it'd be unpatriotic to use US's usage, "ass", for better rhyme; don't want ya in trouble with yer mates...

Stuart, you're my bud, my Negra Modelo, my Foster's... did that pun cross the equator ok?... What can I say?... oh, wait a minute... I feel it coming on... is it? .. Yes!... It is!!... Your very own TTribuTTE!!! .... If it makes it past CG ("Censor Guy"), should post Wed. 5 Apr in the US, and whatever day/date that is in the AnTIPo-Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze (did I pronounce that correctly?)
Matthias - April 04, 2006 - Report this comment
The Raining Champange-ion!!!
Stuart McArthur - April 04, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks John and alvin :-)

in Australia (and Britain) TT, "glass" actually does rhyme with "arse" so its you flippered sea-creatures who are out of step :)

a T-T-T-T-Tribute?...."past the censor"?....uh oh
a sense of deep foreboding
descends on AntiPODEys ;-)

thanks Matthias!
AFW - April 04, 2006 - Report this comment
Definitely in the funny zone..I cannot abstain from giving you fives
Rick C - April 04, 2006 - Report this comment
The "chunks of lunch" cracked me up. Excellent, as always, Stu. 555 One of my early parodies was to this OS (PLUG) It's one of those you post, then come up with better lines for too late.
Stuart McArthur - April 04, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks AFW (hic)

really Rick? that's NEVER happened to me! (...more than 5000 times)...thanks, and I'm off to check out yours
TT - April 04, 2006 - Report this comment
Be afraid, Stuart. Be very afraid....

btw, thought I mighta heard some Brits say "arse" as it's spelled, to rhyme with "farce", but then, Turtles don't have ears, so that's not reliable.
Jane Harris - April 04, 2006 - Report this comment
And I can vouch for the fact that this particular parody of Stew's is coming straight from the heart (ie based on a true story). For that I will give it 555. And please fill us Aussies in on what arse rhymes with in your part of the world???
Stuart McArthur - April 04, 2006 - Report this comment
TT, ahem.....
*speaks very slowly as though talking to a turtle*
yes, Brits DO say "arse" as it's spelled, to rhyme with "farce" - just as they (and we) say "glass" as it's spelled TO ALSO RHYME WITH "FARCE" !!!!! RE-READ MY LAST COMMENT !!!! (that's the trouble with turtles - when they they pull their little heads in they just don't listen *grumble*).....;-) and yes, don't worry, I am very very afraid!!

Jane! Why it's as though you know me already! Thanks for the, when you give them to me ;-)
Tahmy Tuhtle - April 05, 2006 - Report this comment
(speaks very slowly, to drunk Aussie with hormonal problem and fantasy obsession) "Glass" doesn't have an "R" in it even when heard by Brits or Bostonians. Sounds like "glahss", same for "pass" . Upper crust maybe say "ahss", have heard some others put the R in "Arse", which is what a certain Sheila - I mean, Stuart - should do.... or is it Stuaht?....
You are soooo dead meat tomorrow, Dude... :) :) :) ... and I called JV back and broke your date with Angie; it's just she and I heh heh heh
Red Ant - April 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Yep, been there, done that (except the slammer part) more times than I care to not remember. Huh? Yeah, anyway, looks like we have a discussion going on about rhymes here; coincidentally, I just sent a PM to a friend regarding rhymes. I think glass and arse are fine, though I'm curious the actual pronunciation: would "gloss" rhyme with them also? or is the r pronounced? More kudos on "chunks of lunch". 555.
Stuart McArthur - April 05, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL, Tahmy. But in fact, in Australia, the "r" is not really pronounced (or in Britain I think) so over here the following all rhyme identically: arse, pass, farce, glass, class, sparse, grass, and are all under the same listing in my British-published "Penguin Rhyming Dictionary" Since it's a Penguin, maybe you know him, Tahmy...

also "ass" is a totally different sound to "glass" for us, as "ass" rhymes with lass, mass, gas, etc.

I've had this problem before, when I rhymed "Goldie Hawn" with "born" - which rhyme identically in Australia as we don't pronounce the "r" but I was docked for it, because in the US, the two don't rhyme

thanks Red Ant - you haven't done the last part, I'm hoping! - and gloss doesn't rhyme with either of the above in Aust. :)
Phil Alexander - April 05, 2006 - Report this comment
If you'd rhymed "Goldie Hawn" with "porn" on the other hand... I can't see anyone giving you a hard time about that ;-)
This is great, Stuart: one of not very many light, whimsical and totally blotto parodies about booze. It works very well, IMO.

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