Kids end up doing silly things, huh? I remember accidentally sitting on an an ant hill in AZ when I was in the second grade. The parody is really good, 5's

Paul - well done, I could hear the little kid in the lyrics. You must have taken yourself all the way back when you wrote this one. Even though this is a really shitty song I'm still fiving it.

I loved it, Paul - beautifully retold and with *such* feeling. My only comment would be "inauspicious", surely?

As a person who works outdoors, this is certainly one of my "pet" peeves. Years ago, New York passed a strict "pooper scooper" law imposing strict fines. The day it took effect, animal regulation picked up a record number of abandoned dogs. Sounds just like what my ex said: " I'll enjoy your companionship as long as I don't have to clean up after you."

Adagio, Guy & Phil. Thanks! Phil, yes, it appears I had the definitions "cross-circuited" in my brain - that is unless I want to sit here and claim that my 8 year old self had somehow managed to develop a sense of irony - not all that likely, although I do remember many years later managing a Surplus Store that my older cousin Harold owned. One of his favorite sayings to indicate that his luck was GOOD and that things came out OK for him was to say that he had "stepped in sh*t". He said it whenever things worked out well even though he may not have known what he was doing...which was a lot more often than he realized...aww...that's not nice, I actually kind of liked Harold, he was certainly one of a kind and I must say I kind of miss him.

Rick D - at least you didn't end up in the pound...

No, but I've been in the doghouse plenty of times.

what a scream..5s

Thanks, alvin...

Reminds me of when I stepped on a hornet's nest. Good use here of a sappy song that needed to be dirtied on.

Paul. this same exact thing happened to me when I was 8, with about the same reaction. Good job reconstructing it. 5's

jango - hornet's nest, eh? The kid that lived directly ACROSS the street from me did that - let's see...Artie Groschell - he was a couple years older than me, I think, but apparently not a whole lot smarter. Dee - Say, that didn't happen to be a pile of dog-crap on "Carlin St" in Norwalk, CT, did it?

The OS is so squeaky clean that I loved your lyrically rubbing it in the excrement! It also brings a wave of nostalgia... thinking about the time when, in 5th grade, I was sitting in the classroom when there arose a horrible stink. It turns out that it was coming from my shoes! Apparently, I had stepped in doggy poopy, which had lodged itself in the crevice between the heel and sole of my shoe. Still, that wasn't nearly as bad as what happened to you! Good thing you know how to "make lemonade."

I love Love LOVE the orginal song, Paul. I'm going to be in a MAJOR fight with you if I get these lyrics in my head when I'm listening to my Carpenters Gold CD...

They're funny as hell, though...I'll give you that...along with a couple of...(or 3) 5s...

Woof! Love it! Have a chew stick.

Paul, that was great! Sooner you than me, I am sure you don't mind hee hee!

Wow! Does everyone in the whole freaking world have an ugly "dog-doo" episode that stunk up a chunk of their childhood? I'll tell you what, though, I DID learn a valuable lesson from that wretched experience: after that day I ALWAYS carefully checked out the entire lawn or grass area FIRST BEFORE I leapt and frolic'd about. AND, one time when a couple of the other kids made fun of me for it I noticed a dog crap in a strategically vital but somewhat hidden area of our potential football field and I decided I had to get right home that day for some reason - forgot to mention what I had observed...I heard the next day that one of would-be tormentors got his just Doo-Doo...Yeah, kinda mean...but...Thanks, Mari, glad it was just a shoe crevice, although that was still probably totally disgusting and not much fun. Arwen, doesn't the "Top of the World" have dog poop in it, too? JD - Well, I hit the skids at a young age; after that happened I decided to go with the flow and let a lot of sh*t slide, ya' know?

Thanks, Per...Sh*t, you know something? This particular episode was SO long ago that I'll bet most of you weren't EVEN BORN yet when I took my "turd tumble". Around 1958...

I am surprised that aoid hasn't commented on this yet; I know how much he detests parodies that deal with this subject matter.

Uky, Well, "aoid" can do what he/she wants, as we all can. Thanks for looking in.

Paul, I've mentioned before that I'm male, so please remember that for future reference.

aoid - Sorry about that, but I have to say that your most memorable characteristic is your somewhat overblown aversion to "excrement based parodies". I don't think I've ever seen you voice an opinion about anything else on this site, so that's the only association my mind makes when your "handle" comes up. However, I will try to be more cognizant of your gender in the future. You know, unless you are posting comments or whatever under another name as well we really don't have much of a "relationship" here - I write parodies, some of which occasionally have story-themes involving urine or excrement. I happen to think I write them pretty well and that if you can make the words flow cleanly to a good sounding song it makes this type of parody quite funny. You apparently are fundamentally opposed to the subject being used at all so it is doubtful you could ever really enjoy this type of piece. Too bad, your loss. But it all makes me wonder - if it bothers you so much...OK...HERE...if it bothers you so much, WHY DO YOU LOOK? I swear I'm not forcing you to - if you don't like that type of stuff, why put yourself through it? You've made it clear you don't find it funny and say it disgusts you. Hey, there are some things that TRULY disgust me in this world and I can categorically state that when I know one of the is going to be staring me in the face if I click a certain button I DON'T CLICK IT. Yeah, I'm ranting but I just don't see your point...period. Sorry, if I have offended you with my offerings, I can tell you I did not specifically write it with that in mind. I hope you find others works on the site that you truly find amusing and enjoy. Have a nice day...dude...

Um...in aoid's defense, Paul...and I'm not taking his side...but...

The feedback portion of this whole process isn't limited to positive feedback...or at least it shouldn't be.

Think about it in life: Sometimes you take a stand against something that you don't like...because you want your voice to be heard. Maybe...if you complain enough...something will change. That's the hope, anyway. You don't like George Bush...but you listen to what he has to say so that you can call him a liar with a clear conscience. It's kind of...and I might be stretching a little bit...what we can attribute all of our freedom to...the fact that someone was brave enough to stand up and say what they thought...regardless of the fact that it wasn't the popular stance.

Does that make sense?

aoid, please give the folks here at Amiright a few examples of exactly what kinds of parody topics you DO enjoy and find appropriate & appealing?

Arwen, don't misunderstand me here, aoid is perfectly entitled to his opinions and to express them if he sees fit, but isn't it rather pointless to only tell the writer what he DOESN'T like and NEVER anything about what he does like? In this case the complaint is just so predictable and yet so generalized & non-specific that there really is nothing I can see that I would or should try to do differently. Which I frankly am starting to find a bit tiresome...maybe that comes off as sort of a snotty response but hey, shouldn't I be entitled to the same freedom to express MY pointedly weary and grumpy opinion back to him ? I can't see any reason to abridge MY freedom to accomodate what appears to be almost an "automatic default" complaint about this type of parody. Hope this clarifies my thoughts here. I've NEVER said aoid had no right to his opinion, I just wondered why that it happened to be the ONLY type of opinion he ever wished to express about my work. Does that mean that nothing else I do or say here triggers any reaction in this reader? If that's the case we really don't have much to say to each other, do we? Well, anyway, that's my "stance" here...was that "brave" enough for ya? {~}

I'm not saying you can't say what you want, Paul. You were asking why he bothers to read the stuff he doesn't like...I was butting my big nose into things and giving a possible, and in my opinion, a valid reason. I would stick up for you just the same if someone told you not to comment on their stuff.

Arwen - Okie dokie...I understand...but to me it appears that aoid and I really DON'T have much to say to each other, so I'm not going to waste any time worrying about his opinions. I think I already know what they are, and I say that about very few people, by the way...anyway...well, I don't usually go to this point, but I might as well say the apparent disdain flows both ways. Guess that's more than plenty to say for now.

SOTM still a good one....already voted.

Adagio - Thanks!

SOTM - See my comment above.

SOTM--I've commented...and managed to keep these lyrics out of my head...I'm actually listening to the Carpenters right now...so...cross your fingers, Paul!

Guy, Thanks again! Arwen, keep thinking clean thoughts...(heh-heh), punishment enough, I think...Remember, "Clean mind, clean body...take your pick"...thanks again...

(SOTM) Oh my, this brings back childhood memories of my own. I had pigged out on dog biscuits and felt really sick about an hour later, I couldn't hold it in any longer and had to take a dump in the middle of some park.... nice parody, by the way!

Jake - so you think I might have fallen in a pile of your barf and mistaken it for dog poop? naw...I wasn't in it long but it was long enough to tell that it was the real deal...Thanks for stopping by...

Great opening line and funny throughout. The thought of Karen Carpenter singing about poop makes me giggle. "Excrement Once More." "We've Only Got the Runs." "Pooperstar." Nice work, dawg.

Spaff - Thanks! Oooh, that's a sh*tload of really funny suggested titles you've laid out there. The only one I can think of now that might be even close would be "It's Going to Take Some Time", with the story-line delving into the discomfort and frustration of constipation.

(SOTM) You dood a great job!

Thanks, Agrimorfee!

Well done, Paul. But in the end, it's the dog owner, not the dog, that should be blamed.

(SOTM): You pps don't realise what a sheltered childhood you really had. ;-)

I grew up on the countryside, my folks are farmers, we had cows... by age eight I would hardly even reflect upon stepping in what they dropp, just finish whatever I was doing and then hit the shower before dinner. The only situation that I remember as especially shocking gross is the time when my little sister was passing about 1-1,5 meters behind a cow (normally a safe distance) when the cow quickly lifted its tail and, with the force of a garden hose, out came a cows equivalent of diarrhea!!!

Now isn't that something we all would like to see happen to Paris Hilton?

Well, John, back in 1958 I don't think anybody would have blamed anyone except the silly 8 year old who was playing on SOMEONE else's front lawn at the time. I'm not even sure I knew the people who owned the house - it wasn't gated or fenced or anything, but I don't recall it as being one of my friend's houses - think it was across the street from a friend's house. Know 1 - and that's why I write today rather than Farm...Ooooh, you know, I would even feel sorry for Paris H. if that happened. Of course, she might not know what it was, as least at first...'til the odor made itself obvious...Thanks!

Very good. I think it's my doody to add "Close to Poo" to Spaff's list, though. And I vehemently defend the right of aoid to add his stupid opinion to any comment section, as long as I have the right to make fun of him for it. I mentioned I liked the parody, right? Very well then.

Claude Prez - Thanks! Oh, yeah..."Close To Poo"...excrementally excellent title. Agree with your remarks in full...

SOTM - You'd think after more than a year on the site I'd learn not to grab a snack while reading and rating parodies, but noooooo....

Melhi - and THAT comment reminds me of the time in the 5th grade I got in trouble for telling this kid Vincent what I thought his chocolate Hostess Ding-Dongs looked like to me...the little rat-fink told my our Teacher, the attractive, statuesque red-haired Miss Weiss that I had this crush on....you know, though...I did have these very weird, mixed feelings when she lectured me sternly about that type of behavior...part of me...oh...well...you know....

this reminds me of an occasion in Paris (which as you know is liberally coated in this substance) seeing a very suavely dressed chap put his foot into a large pile and slip and fall .. he got it all over his very sharp suit.... ghastly .. it was a Sunday afternoon he was probably on his way to an assignation!

poo is cool.

Thanks Martha & David.

(SOTM) See above!

Refer my Sept 6 comment. And your reply: "Thanks, Per...Sh*t, you know something? This particular episode was SO long ago that I'll bet most of you weren't EVEN BORN yet when I took my "turd tumble". Around 1958..."

Almost Paul, almost....!

I remember back in about 1970 being at a friend's house and ending up with her dog's doo (poodle-doo?) smeared all over my sock. I was horrified... Love the replacement of 'excretion' for 'creation'!

JD/Per/Mer - Thanks! You know it DOES seem that almost everybody here has at some time or another managed to land in or at least step in dog poo in a quantity or circumstance that was traumatic enough to become imbedded in there memory. However, I did notice that no one has taken credit for doing it TWICE...So it appears that human beings ARE capable of learning from unpleasant experiences.

DKTOS, so I'm not much good to ya rear... I mean 'here'.

2NZ - Thanks for looking in!

Artistry with turds and words! 5,5,5 !

Hey, PP Longstiffing, do the words "get a life" mean anything to you?

Thanks Poopie & Mr PMouth...

"Poopie Longstocking" and "a fresh-faced smiling young person with a clipboard" are the same person in disguise.

I Howled with laughter..good parody :))))