When I go off to a party
All the tricks I love to show
Right down to the itchy-itchy powder
To the lit match on the toe

That plastic barf on your new carpet
Ice cube insects, a prank I love to use
Disappearing ink on your tie
And I covered your seat with ooze

Got a dribble glass, it's drippin'
Got a whoopie cush, it's rippin'
Buzzer in the hand, it's a-grippin'
A funny joke, if I ever did see one

Good luck brought her in here
To the humor shop I run
She bought a rubber chicken
And then I showed her a squirter gun

Oddballs I just favor
She certainly was one
I showed her the good stuff I had in the back
And we had a lot of fun

Got a dribble glass, it's drippin'
Got a whoopie cush, it's rippin'
Buzzer in the hand, it's a-grippin'
A funny joke, if I ever did see one

I tried the Chinese finger trap
And she ripped that thing in half
We played a round of "Twister" on the shop floor
We had a laugh

Now there's one trick in the whole darn world
That woman has no peer
That's when that little love of mine
Made a sausage disappear

Got to nibble ass, it's curin'
Got a whoopie tush, it's stirrin''
Buzzer in the gland, it's a-purrin'
A funny joke, if I ever did see one

Now me and my date were out on the town
We had Albert in a can
We asked the cook if he had pig's feet
And a wedding we did plan

And then she gave my thumb a pull
And I pressed the "farty" sound
And we laughed as everyone stared at us
As phony bugs we downed

Got a dribble glass, it's drippin'
Got a whoopie cush, it's rippin'
Buzzer in the hand, it's a-grippin'
A funny joke, if I ever did see one

Then we moved to California
To the land of fruits and nuts
Now we're selling plastic butts
It takes a lot of guts

So I guess we're very scary happy
And the gags keep rollin' in
Cause you know we're clowns, I'm always tempted
To go up right her dressie again

Got to nibble ass, it's curin'
Got a whoopie tush, it's stirrin''
Buzzer in the gland, it's a-purrin'
A fun ol' poke, if I ever did have one