I'm not as dumb as I might look, it's i-impossible
Improbable, this plot you're doin' ain't plausible
Wanted a good book to read, but all this bullshit you-ou're givin' me
It makes it seem you think of me quite poorly

But I know what some might say "The genre's clearly fa-antastical
Who says all the parts must be all plausible?"
Well, there's still a limit for disbelief to be su-uspendable
And pitiful-ass copouts can't be all laudable

When it co-omes to worlds of fantasy
I like consistency
It's not that tricky, ma-an
When I read, read tha-at the wands were burned
Despi-ite protective wo-ords
I tend to think that that's cra-ap

Just cause there's magic in play, doesn't mean deus ex machina
And other crap is allowed to pass, no way, man
The story here is so lame, I can't believe it's a-acceptable
To pass these flaws off as fine because "it's magical"
Oh, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, yeah

Oh, and I-I just simply cannot see
How there can be a speech
From the shy, awkward ma-an
Cause it seems (just seems silly)
Seems that the-ere's too big a jump (at least to me)
From mumbles to complex stuff (seems gimmicky)
Just feel it's really cra-ap
This book's cra-ap
Kinda cra-ap
Really cra-ap

Hoo! Lame
I just don't think it's plausible
Lame
D-D-D-D-D-D-D-Dumb, that's all, yeah, makes it a chore
Oh buddy, it's lame
Ooh, can't read it, ain't believable
Yeah
Shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty, ooh-woo
Nope, nope, nope, nope