Babe I’m needin’
a little bit of fame
and notoriety
I’d sit naked
in Times Square eating worms
to be on TV

But I don’t think I can dance, and
“America’s Got Talent” said I don’t
So I found someone who puts folks on the air
that even Oprah won’t

You know on YouTube
good taste and network censors simply can’t prevent
you singing “Rent”
And here on YouTube
everyone can watch your colonoscopy
An eternity
of this poo
is here on YouTube

You know on YouTube
no one really cares if you break copyright law
or remove your bra
Because on YouTube
a B-cup chest looks like a double Matterhorn
and softcore porn
sure gets views
Here on YouTube

High-school theater
Skateboard stunts gone wrong
Gerbils eating lox
Drunken frat guys
Old episodes of “Cheers”
It’s even worse than FOX

Our high threshold of boredom
means anyone can join this scene
Who’d believe I got fifty thousand hits
on just an empty screen