~ ~ ~ (rattle sounds and baby going "waah-waah-waah-waah, waah, waa-waah, waa-waah-waah" and then "daa-daa-daa-daa, da-daa-daa ,da-daa-dee" continually until 1st verse starts) ~ ~ ~

Mary, whose kid is this?
Doesn't look like me
Wonder whose kid is this
just who could it be
When you made this baby
I was out of town
It feels like you played me
like I was some clown

When you conceived this kid, well, I was not around
On the road, dear
Who'd you 'dip' with in the hay?
hey, hey, hey - please say

Mary, that's fictitious
know you shouldn't lie
Really, you should 'fess up
tell me who's the guy
Don't tell me "immaculate"
I am not that dumb
Someone shared ejaculate
please point out the bum

I'd be relieved if you would tell me which man
is the Father
Tell me who it was you laid
hey, hey, hey - just say

~ ~ ~ (break for more "rattles' and "waah-waah's/daa-daa's") ~ ~ ~

Your story has glitches
edges of it frayed
Who the son-of-bitch is
I want you to say
"Some day this will save me?"
That sounds like bull crap
Treating me like some dumb schmuck
do I deserve that?


Think I have been deceived, Mary won't say which man
Is the Father
Jesus Christ, kid, she won't say
no-oh-oh-oh, uh-uh, no way

~ ~ ~ (rattles and "waah-waah-waah-waah, waah, waa-waah, waa-waah-waah" and "daa-daa-daa-daa, da-daa-daa ,da-daa-dee" out to Fade) ~ ~ ~