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Song Parodies -> "Show the nuts"

Original Song Title:

"Cool for cats"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Show the nuts"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

Many years ago a friend *cough* of mine *cough* and his oversized late teenage confidence decided that he had what it takes to become a male star in the shadier and more private parts of the movie industry, so he charged it shouting "show us the money", only to have it shout back "show us your nuts"! (Actually they used another word than nuts, but I'm trying to keep this song within family friendly parameters, and the anatomical metaphor kielbasa isn't as easy to rhyme, so I'm evoking artistic license in this general area). All in all that turned out to be a dickhead career move and he left the scene almost as soon as he had come there. Here's *cough* his story *cough* as I recall it.

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here:
My agent's making signals that it's time to show my ass
The fluffer's in position and she's such a lovely lass
This gig is really corporeal, I'm bringing up the rear
I don't mind that it's hirsute, it's the limelight that I fear
I throw out my remorses and my clothing in a heap
And I walk in pumped but staggering 'cos I feel kinda cheap
And the director runs around and scream to show my nuts
To show my nuts! (Show the nuts!)

I signed up for this movie 'cos I got wallet broke
And get to bang some Sheilas without wine and dine, just poke
And now I work my fingers and the cream puff casting game
In and out I swiftly move by numbers and on dames
It's funny how the screenplay always cut out the first base
But halfway the photographer decides to show her face
I'm shocked - it is my mother - and she screams to show more nuts
To show more nuts! (Show your nuts!)

This dips my mood and bundle, I hear Jaws-type rub-a-dub
I'm losing ehhh…reflection, I'm heading for the scrub
I'm drinking this, I'm drinking that, the contract's got me fleshed
I have a fit and panic but the fine print has me meshed
But they provide me bitters and it's going to my bat
And by the time I'm blotto I've forgotten where I'm at
So everybody yells again that I must show my nuts
Must show my nuts (It was nuts!)

That's the way the stalwart contract surely got fulfilled
I think it's manifested as my every drop was spilled
I try to duck my mother and I'm planning to get stoned
But then she serves me coffee and a bowl of homemade scones
She says we're making moolah and she calls me her male twat
I say "I'll see you 'gator" and I hint she's gotten fat
'Cos it's not going on my CV that I showed my nuts
I showed my nuts! (I'm a putz!)

© Peter Andersson. (Pacing note: The rhyme pattern of the original song isn't really clear-cut, I think we can tell from looking at all four verses that they aimed for AABBBCCC and then cut some corners, it's sung so fast that it doesn't really matter and one can hardly tell from just listening to it. As a parody primarily meant to be read these new rhymes ended up a consistent AABBCCDD pattern, dock me a point or two on that if it matters to you, IMOHO it became the better for it).

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin - February 25, 2008 - Report this comment
clever concept and fun to sing along to
littleCreamPuff - February 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Focus, Sir! You need to remain focused!!
MrMacphisto - February 25, 2008 - Report this comment
LOL... that was nuts
AFW - February 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Best porn spoof since the movie, "Boogie Nights"
Red Ant - February 25, 2008 - Report this comment
LOL, funny work, Peter. Loved " I'm bringing up the rear/I don't mind that it's hirsute, it's the limelight that I fear" and "But they provide me bitters and it's going to my bat". Unique twist that mom is behind the camera. I'm at a loss as to what a "CV" is though - Swedish equivalent of a resume? The rhyme scheme worked fine for me. 555
Peter Andersson - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Alvin, LittleCreamPuff, MrMacphisto and AFW: Thankz!

Red Ant: CV is short for Curriculum Vitae, Latin for "course of life" or something close to that, it's what people with academic points to their resume have to call it instead of a resume! :-)
Peregrin - March 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Peter, got here late, but that was great! And the OS was perfect for the song!
Agrimorfee - March 11, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Hilarious whambamthankyoumum of a story! So funny, one can't help but forgive rhyming "fat" with "twat" :D.
Matthias - March 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Loved this original song, ever since I heard Spaff's parody of it. Then Kristof's. Then yours.... I'm starting to see a little trend here. Who's going to take this song on next? I also loved the fact that your mother was behind the camera. That's creepy, and funny all rolled into one.
Guy - March 21, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM-FEB08) Great porntification of the OS. You even included the fluff girls - nice touch. I wonder if anyone ever puts "Fluff Girl" on a resume? It seems like the only occupation where you can be promoted to lead ho.
Michael E Cormier - March 27, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) One of the only careers that you can say literally that you had a HARD day at work. Good Job
Max Power - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
bobpiecheese - March 30, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Erm...LOL? As I said for Mikey's parody, this kinda thing ain't my thing, and this one didn't really amuse me as his did.
wannabemustangjockey - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This OS looks like it would be damn hard to parody. Nice work Peter.
Below Average Dave - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) First Jeff's Apron deal, and now you and your nuts. . .hilarious, I think this could have competed with Kristof's parody of this song last month.
Phil Alexander - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Thought I'd commented first time around - bravo (or even bravissimo)! A cracker, Peter.
Jeff Reuben - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
I was waiting for your take on this OS ever since one of your comments over the last month (I think on Kristof's version last month?) I wasn't let down. Great Job!
Jack Wilson - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Loved it! 5s, awesome OS too, did they get a new singer between this and Tempted?
Invisible Boy - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
I like when parodies tell a story. As a matter of fact, it's one of my favorite techniques of parody writing. Great job.
Mikey Squirrel - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM- Ah, another dirty parody. Gotta love it. You have a lot of balls to write this one, Peter. Very good work. 'Hang' in there.
Sometimes U Feel Like A Nut, Sometimes U Don't! - March 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Nutty Nick you are! ; )

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