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Song Parodies -> "School For Cats"

Original Song Title:

"Cool For Cats"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"School For Cats"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

Like Harry Potter, but with less magic and more fur.....
The siamese send signals to the tabbies and the strays
The persians gather up their books and brand new PDAs
The lecturers and tutors with their gowns and PhDs
Abruptly halt their hunting: let the mice consume their cheese
And though a feline lifestyle's one of pampering and ease...
You'll find that when not taunting dogs or playing with dead rats
We're getting our tuition at the famous School for Cats...
The School for Cats! (schooooool for caaaaaats)

The Furniture Destruction class is down in the gym hall
Professor Tiddles teaches how to cough up fine furballs
And Spike from up the alley, who is oh so wise and sage
Shows his students how to pick the lock of a birdcage
Nine Lives Appreciation helps you make it to old age
The pass rate is impressive; you just have to check the stats
So get out of your litter box and join The School for Cats
The School for Cats! (schooooool for caaaaaats)

Come visit Alpha Kappa Meow: it's our fraternity
Pursue a little pussy...and get stuck up a tree
But if you're feeling lost and need to know what makes you tick
For spiritual guidance, have a chat with Father Mick
(That cat's a heavy drinker: he's a chronic cat-holic)
You'll mix with junkyard brawlers and well-fed aristocrats
We don't care if you're stray or spayed when at The School for Cats
The School for Cats! (schooooool for caaaaaats)

Make up extra credit by attacking balls of wool
Coz "Kung Fu Used On Poodles 101" is sadly full
And if this is your first term...and you have come this far
Don't indulge in too much catnip at The Kinky Kitten bar
(You'll wake beside a schnauzer smugly smoking a cigar)
But after years of study you will soon be up to scratch...
Sylvester, Felix, Garfield all went to The School for Cats
The School for Cats! (schooooool for caaaaaats)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 25

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   25

User Comments

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Matthias - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
What can I say Kristof... This parody was the cat's meow. I really, really want to parody this song too!!!
AFW - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
FanCatstic work, here..purrfection...lines, rhymes, ideas, references, and overall it's over the top!..I cat say enough about it!
Johnny D - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Too many good lines to MEOWWW!!!
alvin - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
masterfully written and goofy as all get out...i really enjoyed it
2Eagle - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
An award winner, but you left out the part about pestering and whining.
Meriadoc - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
You should record this one Kristof! :-D
Jack Wilson - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Awesome job, do one to Tempted now LOL
Jason - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
FRIGGING FUNNY! The other SOTM candidates may as well go home now! (If this one gets entered that is)
unCollaredKitten - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
555 for the ~ Kinky Kitten Bar ~ but sorry Sir, no stillettos on this Kitten !!
stuart mcarthur - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
all hale the master - a rolled-up furball of Kristofian genius - pure Kristofia this is - and there's that wonderful detail again: "Furniture Destruction class" and the brilliant line "Coz "Kung Fu Used On Poodles 101" is sadly full" - loved every line KR - 555
Kristof Robertson - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Matty: Go ahead, dude....we need more Squeeze parodies on the site, and this OS is a blast to work with

AFW, Johnny and Al: Cheers, amigos!

2eagle: That comes naturally to them, mate...the rest requires higher education! Cheers

Merry: I had the same thought....thanks

Jack: Great idea; I LOVE that song!

Jase: Cheers, mate....I'll take it under advisement

Kitten: mrrrowwww! :-) Cheers
Kristof Robertson - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Stu: So glad to have you back in the saddle, compadre. Thanks a bunch, and happy New Year!
Peregrin - January 18, 2008 - Report this comment
I am amazed that I got here late and no-one said this yet, Kristof, so here goes: "Purrrrr-fect!"
PMS - January 18, 2008 - Report this comment
DKTOS but this was a really fun read.
Wendy Christopher - January 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Heheheee...a definite 555! Loved the 'Poodles 101' line... and now I really want to go to the Kinky Kitten bar too (only for the catnip, you understand..!)
The Charnstar - February 01, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Brilliant. Even as brilliant as the original. All 5's!
Jason - February 08, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) My other comment above still stands!
Peter Andersson - February 08, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - I first discovered TOS some three or four years ago when the spaffster did a parody of this song, but instead of then realising what an Amiright standard potential it has I ended up adding it to my running music collection (it runs at a stedy 144 BPM, which makes it good för the same number of steps per minute, and as such a solid warm-up if anyone's interested). Thanx for bringing it back to the parody realm for me, and possibly the rest of us, with those lengthy rhymeable lines it has all the perfect workability of "Modern Major-General", yet only about half the lenght in total, a perfect candidate for the next Amiright TOS craze... :-)
Agrimorfee - February 11, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I guess Peter is right that this OS is quite unsung in parody usage...cries out for more. I had to read twice to catch some of those delicious puns, esp. the "Cat-olic". Nitpick--your definition of "tuition" in line 7. But as always, top marks.
Matthias - February 13, 2008 - Report this comment
Didn't do that recording Kristof? What... Cat got your tounge? Oh well... This is still one of the best ideas I've seen performed on Amiright, and you deserve like always a Top 5 spot.
Max Power - February 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Guy - February 18, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM-JAN) As I said earlier on Peter's entry I love pet parodies and this one fits into that CATegory. Too many funny lines to mention.
Michael McVey - February 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Too bad I couldn't send Spot or Sumaq there.
bobpiecheese - February 27, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Holy hell, only 6 votes and everybody has already said all that can be said. Maybe I'm just terrible at comments. Well, you know you did good here, Kristof, like always.
wannabemustangjockey - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Impressive. I like the OS too, very catchy.
Phil Alexander - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Thought I'd commented on this already - you've reminded me that I have a Discworld DEATH parody to this OS half-finished. Anyway, beautifully whimsical.
Jeff Reuben - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
I'm speechless. Cat got my tongue. Just so many great ideas for classes here (Kung Fu Used On Poodles 101 is one of my favorites). Yet another incredible effort here.
Jack Wilson - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
See above! Hows that Tempted parody comin?
Below Average Dave - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) The subtitle is so obvious and perfect that it alone was impressive. . .even more impressive was pacing on a song that is unquestionably difficult to pace. Very original song choice, and excellent execution. . .""Kung Fu Used On Poodles 101"" is just an outright hilarious mental image.
Invisible Boy - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
The first time I saw this I sat, shook my head, and had a brief episode of catalepsy. "How does he do it" I asked myself. Such a great concept, and so many jokes, puns and funny bits.

I've now recovered and I've decided to use works like this as a catalyst to catapult me toward more inspired writing for my own catalog. Excellent !!!
Invisible Boy - March 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Again, the last comment is mine. Where did the year go?
I'm still a cat person
Red Ant - April 03, 2009 - Report this comment
I was trying to come up with a cat related comment for this parody, you you got them all in the parody. Great work, Kristof.

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