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Song Parodies -> "Laws of Physics (Scotty's lament)"

Original Song Title:

"Sound of Silence"

Original Performer:

Simon & Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"Laws of Physics (Scotty's lament)"

Parody Written by:

Doug Baseball

The Lyrics

How many times did Scotty say "I can't defy the laws of physics" on the original Star Trek? Maybe not as often as I think - like Bones' "I'm a doctor, not a...", though, it's a quote I oft remember. And, Phil's "Laws of Science" made me think of the title and idea, so after w good while (I told you I wouldn't be here a lot) I finally came up with this.
Hello Captain Kirk my friend,
I see you need my help again.
Because you plan to fly at warp speed
To some place where your help they need.
And you’ll forgive me if I should seem to rant,
But I can’t
Defy the laws of physics.

But you’re bound to do more than that.
Since our ship is where it’s at.
You’ll ask me to go past warp six
My pleas to save me engines you will nix,
When I say o’er the intercom she
Can’t take no more,
You’ll ask me for
An end to laws of physics.

‘Cause that’s the only way it seems
We manage to get away clean.
Maybe Klingons will return fire,
We may draw someone ele’s ire,
Or we may just need to push it to the max,
I know we’ll tax
Those mighty laws of physics.

While you beam down to some place,
To meet up with some strange race,
I’ll have ta beam ye out of there,
While making a major repair
Of me engines that took so much strain
We disdained
All the laws of physics.

But somehow I’ll earn me pay,
As I beam ye home to stay.
And though I’ll fear she’s gonna blow,
In some way that I just don’t know,
I will manage to get Enterprise’s
Grand engines once again to fly
And some will say I
Can defy all the laws of physics.
Warp six, BTW, is supposedly the maximum warp for the original Enterprise, if memory serves; which it might not, it's been a long time. Either way, it wa a nice fit. WIsh I had time to enter stuff like this in contests (I checked, I think I'd have to read all the other entries, too, and comment), but I have fun, that's the important thing.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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AFW - May 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Great job
Ann Hammond - May 23, 2008 - Report this comment
alvin - May 23, 2008 - Report this comment
fun were a "miracle worker" on this one
McKludge - May 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Go ahead and do a contest. It's very easy to enter. The SOTM takes about 2-4 hours of your time over the course of a month to read and comment on all the entries, but that's all. i don't know about the amiright Idol contest that's running soon, check the news. 555 dilithium crystals for you.
Captain Pacholek - May 23, 2008 - Report this comment
I'll spare ye th' technical details, lad, except to tell ye that Scotty used the line in only one episode, though he referenced it in his one-shot appearance on "The Next Generation." But ye got 'er goin' at Warp 5!
Red Ant - May 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Well done, Mr, Scott...err, Baseball. =)

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