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Song Parodies -> "The Botoxer"

Original Song Title:

"The Boxer"

Original Performer:

Simon and Garfunkle

Parody Song Title:

"The Botoxer"

Parody Written by:

Jan Unwin

The Lyrics

I am just a poor girl but I feel I'm looking old
I have squandered all my money at the drugstore buying creams that come with promises.
All lies and jests, still a gal hears what she wants to hear and then hopes for the best.

So I left my home and my family, and I hurried to my friend
who put on a Botox party in the quiet of her living room, doctor there.
Fork out the dough, sticking in the needles where the wrinkles tend to go,
looking for the places I know they would show.
They lie lie, lie la lie lie lie lie lie. They lie lie, lie la lie lie lie lie lie, They lie lie lie lie.

When I saw the doc I asked him if he'd do a free boob job but he didn't offer,
Wanna look just like the whores on Seventh Avenue.
I do declare, there were times when I was so broke that I took some piece work there,
another lie

Then I'm putting on my winter coat and wishing I was gone, going home
where injections 'tween my eyes do not still bleed on me, misleading me, going home.

Now I can't move my eyebrows and I can not look surprised
and I carry the reminders of giving in to vanity, I didn't read the warnings and
I have myself to blame, "I'm perceiving, they are thieving," but the Botox still remains.
They lie lie, lie la lie lie lie lie lie. They lie lie, lie la lie lie lie lie lie, They lie lie lie lie.
They lie lie, lie la lie lie lie lie lie. They lie lie, lie la lie lie lie lie lie, They lie lie lie lie.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

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Johnny D - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Yikes, a ridge over my plucked eyebrows!
I'll bo-tox it down...

Laurence Dunne - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Good parody on a good parody subjcet. Botox is designed to freeze muscles people, you should NOT be using it. Regardless of what cosmetic surgeons might tell you, there are serious long term side effects. I guess you can't even call them side effects, after all, muscle paralysis is the INTENDED effect!!
Jan Unwin - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Like you said, a good parody subject. Personally, I would never use the stuff.
Johnny D - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Jan - you and I had a coincidental synchronicity (or synchronicitous coincidence?) today ..... You might like to check out a parody of mine that posted today, called "Face Oddity"
Adagio - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job.
Phil Alexander - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Very good, and loved the wordplay in the title, too :-)
Royce Miller - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Love it, Jan
Paul Robinson - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Jan - I didn't have to stretch to find the funny in this. But I could if I had to. Sounds like Botox mimics Bell's Palsey (I had a friend who had it temporarily and one side of his face was virtually frozen. Never figured out cause or cure but he was ok in a couple months). Something has always instinctively told me it's not a good idea to pump foreign substances into your body to change your features. It really seems like a common sense type of thing, but...maybe not. Anyway, excellent. My host up here wandered in while I was looking at it, I said "hey, check this one out"; we were both cracking up.
Meriadoc - January 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Very well done!
pickle - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
I can always tell when celebrities have had it done. Cliff Richard looks rigid and Anne Robinson can't move her mouth properly when she speaks, resulting in a permanently stiff upper lip. Good one! - February 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow, you got some good stuff here, JU. "They lie la lie." "Piece work." Heh heh.

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