Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Ones Are the Club"

Original Song Title:

"Love is the Drug"

Original Performer:

Roxy Music

Parody Song Title:

"Ones Are the Club"

Parody Written by:

Warren Baker

The Lyrics

Don't sweat the small stuff.
It’s one cool thing
To wait for the vote to ding
It’s one cool thing
To wait for the vote

Words worth pacing
Songs to chafe
You post song up
To Am Right place

Jumble up, tumble out
Wait for score
Ones are the club
And you needn’t more

Single count, holy fount
Fives no fun
Votes unfurl
On rhymes you spun
Don't feel slight
Most will see
Ones are the club
Savvy authors seek

Oh oh
Fours lack buzz
Ones are the club
You’re wanting of
Oh oh
Void the threes
Ones are the club for ye

You will write
Your song bizarre
Tale you’ll make
It’s an author’s job
Scrape the shape
Mold the gold
Spark your arc
Let the puns be told

Numbers jump
Comments sound
The humble chase
For feedback round
Some say “Pro”
Some say “Wretch”
Votes of spite
You should never sweat.

Oh oh
Twos be thud
Ones are the club
Worth longing of
Oh oh
Dance with glee
Ones are the club
That is best for ye

Oh oh
Feel that love
Ones are the club
You’re wanting of
Oh oh
You’ll agree
Ones are the club for ye

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.

Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

WarrenB - July 26, 2013 - Report this comment
Just in case you're one of the ones who spotted the grammar flaw, I'll invoke the "Gordon Sumner Rule" which states "If Sting can write 'If you love someone, set them free,' then writer is at liberty to massacre the English language."
I rests my case.
Rob Arndt - July 26, 2013 - Report this comment
Warren, you are ONE of a kind, keep writing- 555!!!
Lifeliver - July 26, 2013 - Report this comment
Great idea, great OS, great concept, great lines. Should I comply and give you ones? But you deserve fives. Ah, problem solved: threes. Oh no - void threes. Screw it. Just to be a smartass, I'll abstain. My first sentence is what matters.

Not sure about your Gordon Sumner rule. I think it's OK to substitute 'them' for 'him or her' in a singular context, so the agreement works, imo. Technically you may be right but hardly a massacre. Not if you heard the 'grammatical ingenuity' of some of my Japanese students.
Al Silver - July 26, 2013 - Report this comment
Warren, on my first day on this site, all nine of my submissions, which I had written in the previous decade, got hit by a one-bomber. I was surprised, but I soon gathered from the comments that this schmuck made regular appearances. I concluded that he was now initiating me as a newbie.

I agree with you that being in the ones-club is a badge of honor. But considering that I received an unprecedented 7 sets of 1s yesterday, and LL received 4 the day before, I feel that I am in a hostile environment. LL implies that a resident crypto-Nazi and his fan base collaborate on this psychological warfare. I don't know. If this person thinks that LL or I have given him (or anybody) 1s, he is guessing wrongly, as usual. Perhaps his current charm offensive (no Lugers for some time) is a red herring. Again, there is no way to know.

You wrote a fine parody, Warren, and you did it in jig time, while the matter was hot. Your and Phil's advice about the deviate, but harmless, nature of one-bombing complement each other's nicely.

I can almost assure you that this comment will prompt more maggots to tinker with my score. It's of no consequence, but it is unpleasant.
WarrenB - July 27, 2013 - Report this comment
Rob- Thanks for the comment Rob.
LL- I thought it funny when you mentioned your ESL(?) students. I have to deal with English translations of Japanese technical manuals and some of the translations are downright entertaining. Sony and Panasonic manuals are the best!
Al- The first time I rode the 1 train was my very first parody, 3 1's. Nothing says hello and welcome to the site better than that. And throughout my four years on the site, I've seen people like OMR, Tommy Turtle, and many more slapped with 1's for no other reason than they had dared to express an opinion. Sad really. Though my experience hasn't been as extreme as others, I, too, felt the voting was cowardly and childish, and I finally came to the conclusion that I'm a writer who likes to write. I like to show what I have, for good or bad. And if there are those who wish to demean me with simpleton votes that carry no explanation or reason, screw 'em. Those kinds of people are voters and not writers, and though they're welcome to express their modicum of free speech with 3 tic marks, their weight is little more than a spoiled child stomping their feet in a grocery store. Irritating? Yes. Do they matter to me? No.
The best answer to the voting hostility, I think, is to continue writing. I'm sure I'll get more 1's, but I've come to the conclusion that the comments matter more than the votes. Thanks for the comment, Al. Keep writing.
Ann H - July 27, 2013 - Report this comment
don't know the OS but thought I'd leave a he he anyway
Lifeliver - July 29, 2013 - Report this comment
Sony and Panasonic manuals in 'Nihonglish'? There's gotta be a parody in that (hint)! Sometimes I try to make up examples but I can't - only they can do it. Not far from my home there's a supermarket called 'Nosebox'. Inside there's a 'fresh bakery' (they don't seem too sure about the bread) and a drycleaner/photo lab which specializes in 'cleaning and deveropment'. There's a presumably very noisy public eating area nearby called 'The Dinning'. I could go on but I'll spare you.

Btw, here the English industry is EFL (English as a Foreign Language). It's ESL only in an English-speaking country - a subtle but important distinction because the teaching approaches have to be somewhat different.

I'm becoming as bad as the Turtle for shameless unsolicited plugs, but for a parody on massacred English you may like to check out As I said to Tommy, if we don't self-promote our old parodies from time to time, they just get buried and forgotten when they go off screen. And who has the time to surf through the massive oeuvre of even our favorite parodists? So if the opportunity arises, go for it.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1235