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Song Parodies -> "Prosimian Haplorrhine"

Original Song Title:

"Bohemian Rhapsody"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Queen

Parody Song Title:

"Prosimian Haplorrhine"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

Prosimians are a group of primates that includes all living and extinct strepsirrhines (lemurs, lorisoids, and adapiforms), as well as the haplorhine tarsiers and their extinct relatives, the omomyiforms, i.e. all primates excluding the simians. They are considered to have characteristics that are more "primitive" (ancestral or plesiomorphic) than those of simians (monkeys, apes, and humans.)
This is my tree life
In Madagascar, east--
Nocturnal eyes wide, low cog-
Nitive abilities...

Listen up, guys:
It's Primate Phylogeny:
Tarsiers and lemurs,
Need your attention, please!

We're strepsirrhini, yes, simians, no--
(Illiger named us so)--
Color-blind galagos,
Flat toilet claws, prehensilely,
Have we.

Mammals,
We rule the world--
All the omomyiforms,
Lorisoids, adapiforms--
Mammals,
We invented guns,
But now we've no defense for climate change!

Mammals, oooo--
It's a shame to say goodbye,
We're losing 50 species every morning,
Carrion, carrion...
As my homies turn to worm food...

Too late, our time has come--
With forests in decline,
Oceans rising all the time.
Goodbye, furry buddies,
And jungle folks,
Got a feeling mass extinction's on the way!
Mammals, oooo (hurricanes, tornados)
No one wants to die,
Habitats surrendered to urban sprawl...

A teeny little Middle Cenozoic Man--
Hairy moose, rotten moose, would you choose a bad mango?
Creodonts! Paracrax! Scary pterodactyl screech!
Falling prey, Oh! Not today, Oh!
Run away, Oh! Cannot stay, Oh!
Grab my tail, Oh!
Bigger grow? Me not think so!

I'm just a loris boy and bushbabies snub me
He's just a loris boy from a banana tree
Spare him his flight from Eocenery
Here he comes, squeezy, no! Will you let me go?
Li'l fella, no, he will not let you go, let him go
This killah, he will not let me go, let him go
Godzilla, he will not let me go, let me go
(Will not let you go) let me go (never, never let you go) let me go (never let me go)
Oh oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Oh mammals, see ya, mammals, see ya, mammals, see ya let me go
David Begun has a chapter in the works for me for me for me
So the fifth mass extinction was kind of a drag
If you weighed twenty pounds you got turned into slag
Bushbaby, can't do this to me, save me!
Meteor crashed down, burned us suckers all right out of here
Oh oh oh yeah, oh oh yeah
Science really matters
Anyone can see
Science really matters
Science really matters to me
Hurricanes, tornados...
┬ęBob "The Bushbaby With the Bathwater" Gomez 2019

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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 5   2
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