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Song Parodies -> "Luftwaffe Rhapsody"

Original Song Title:

"Bohemian Rhapsody"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Luftwaffe Rhapsody"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

I just had to get to abuse the verse "Thunderbolts and lightnings" somewhere. So I decided to use that verse for good. I would one day absolutely love to get to fly either P-47 or P-38.
Is this the rebirth?
Is this new Air Force born?
Taught in the gliders -
and Russian aid not scorned
Planes are brand new -
fighters, dive bombers too
Baptism on fire, in Spanish Civil War
bombers bom, new aces born
flying high, fighting low
Anywhere the war goes -
soon it will be Poland to hit!

Poland, is soon overrun
with her planes destroyed on ground
Poland's victory so sound
Europe, we'll just wipe out you
Denmark, Norway, Holland are soon done
Stukas go wo-oo-o-oo!
Six weeks more now and we will conquer France
Bomb 'em on, bomb 'em on
As if England really matters?

Too bad! England's fighting back -
Spitfires, Hurricanes on track
and their pilots too are crack -
Balkans - every plane now!
Gotta crush the Greece and take Africa too
Russia - ooh, here we come (and kill tallies rise now)
We are meant to make to cry -
one hundred kills are measure of an Expert -

I see a silhouetto of a white-starred plane -
Eight Air Force! Ninth Air Force! Now the Yanks have come to fight you
Thunderbolts and Lightnings, very very frightening, yeah!
Flying Fortress! Liberator! Mitchell and the Marauder! (and Mustangs too)

We're on defense now, nobody helps us
(You're on defense now), Messerschmitt and Focke-Wulf
Do they save your towns from these monstrosities?

Bomb all night! Bomb all day! They won't go away!
R-A-F will not go away
R-A-F too is there to stay
R-A-F Lancasters in fray!
Will not let you go. (Let me go!)
Never, never let you go
Never let me go, oh.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, night fighters, oh, night fighters (oh night fighters, will do job.)
For Butcher Harris has a devil put aside for towns, for towns, for towns.

So you think you can bomb us and crush all our towns?
So you think you can fight us and level to ground?
Jet fighters! Nemesis jet fighters!
Will fight you back! Will shoot down all of your bombers...

Nothing really remains -
in 1945
Nothing really remains,
Nothing really remains to fly....

Anyway the war goes.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 26

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   25

User Comments

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Callmelennie - September 14, 2015 - Report this comment
You are one amazing Finka, Susanna (Drei Funfen!!)
Rob Arndt - September 14, 2015 - Report this comment
Susanna, you knew I would take the bait on this! Chronologically pretty accurate, but an Expert was technically as low,as 10 kills, not 100 (an ace still 5 kills). The Luftwaffe valued proficiency, so the average was around 60 for an Experte. As for the fighters, the P-38, despite the "Teufel" refs, did not perform so great in the ETO nor MTO. It was mediocre at best and was transitioned over to the PTO where it did much better (think Bong). The jet fighters was a nice touch, but in reality were too little, too late. Messers still consumed the bulk of fighter production followed by the Fockes. Too bad Germany never got the licensed production of the Italian Fiat G.55 which would have become G.56 with the powerful DB series of engines. It would have taken away from Me production, but would have been an awesome fighter. For trivia, the first Hemi engine was installed in the P-47H prototype with inline engine. As for you flying either a T-bolt or Lightning ( D and J versions respectively)... I would take you up on that challenge flying opposite with either a Me Bf 109K-4 or Fw 190D-13 (alternate Fw Ta 152). I'd force feed you 30mm MK-108 til you flamed out and spun into an inverted dive into the ground! Allies were great at superior men and materials, but the Luftwaffe had the greatest pilots in the world bar none with the highest kills and they weren't rotated! By the 5 point standard, Germany produced 2500 aces! Over 500 Knight Crosses were awarded. The Luftwaffe shot down 120,000 aircraft, not counting the Kondor Legion sent to Spain. It will be hard for any pilot to ever beat Hartmann at 352 kills. The Blonde Knight endures. But I'll give the second best pilots to our co-belligerant Finns :)
Rob Arndt - September 14, 2015 - Report this comment
Oh, and 555 kills!
Rob Arndt - September 14, 2015 - Report this comment
Lastly, I meant the Allies had superior NUMBERS in manpower and material. That's why they won. If Germany had completed Sea Lion and developed a true 4 engine Bomber to stop transport of factories behind the Urals... then no island to build up to D-Day and no Soviet production lines unbombed. I disagree with historians that claim Germany never had the ability to fight total war with everyone. Quite the contrary as Germany was winning from 1939-42. The mistake of switching targets over Britain was Hitler's and Goering's. The mistake to delay Sea Lion and get involved with the Italian blunders in the Balkans and N Africa was Hitler's, which delayed Barbarossa. The decision to delay jet technology and other German Secret Weapons for two years was Hitler's. And not putting the German economy into full scale production for total war until 1943 (including not fully utilizing women) was Hitler's. Of course Speer worked miracles as Armaments Minister to compensate by 1944... but by then it was too late. Had Germany taken Britain, then the US would have had to take that back first before trying France. Todt would have built concrete fortifications all over Britain and would have reinforced all air bases for LW aircraft. Germany could have started invading the USSR in the spring not the summer and Army Group Center could have reached Moscow before the rain, mud, and winter hampered them (before Siberian reinforcement could be used to mount the winter counteroffensive). With no material production past the Urals, no flow of arms and armor to the Red Army. Everything could have been wrapped up in 1941. Certainly, jets in the skies in as early as 1942 would have been even more of a shock (Germany flew first jet He-178 in 1939, 3 days,before the war started)!
Rob Arndt - September 14, 2015 - Report this comment
Fiat G.56 mod by Germans:
Jonathan - September 14, 2015 - Report this comment
three guys walk into a bar... you'd think one of them would have seen it! what that has to do with this parody? ...I haven't the slightest clue... 4's
Finishes joke - September 14, 2015 - Report this comment
Three vampires walk into a bar. "What can I get ya?" asks the bartender. "Blood," orders the first vampire. "Make it two," says the second. The bartender looks at the third. "What about you, buddy?" "Plasma," says the vampire. "Okay," replies the barman. "Let me make sure I’ve got this straight. Two bloods and a blood light."
Patrick - September 15, 2015 - Report this comment
Had I not seen your name, I would have thought Rob had written it. Opportunities to fly P-47's or P-38's are few. The US military was ruthless in its destruction of surplus planes after the war. A few later returned in the 1970's and 80's from some ragged Latin American air forces that sold them off when their collector value exceeded their tactical usefulness. There is a company in Florida that will let you fly a P-51 Mustang. So, if you are ever in the States look up
Rob Arndt - September 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Susanna, if you ever got to fly a P-47 Thunderbolt (British called it Juggernaut), then you would want the best version- P-47N. Of course, the same Republic designers did a prototype XP-72 Superbolt that was superior. US had the XP-58 Chain Lightning and P-51H as well. Germany had the Fw Ta 152, Do-335 Pfeil, and Skoda-Kauba V5. Britain had the MB.5, Supermarine Spiteful and Seafang, the Hornet, Fury, and the Vickers 432. Japan had the Shinden. Fastest prop was the Spiteful at 494 mph and one test version passed the 500 mph mark. Both Germany and Britain were working on supersonic props at the end of the war.
Rob Arndt - September 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Craig - September 17, 2015 - Report this comment
Did Finland have any great aerial victories during the Second World War?
Rob Arndt - September 17, 2015 - Report this comment
No.24 Sqn (Flying Lynx) scored 877 victories for a loss of 55. Two top Aces, 7 Mannerheim Crosses, and most if not all using the Fokker D.XXI from the Netherlands!
Susanna Viljanen - September 25, 2015 - Report this comment
Craig: Yes. Finnish Air Force scored some 1,500 victories in the war, created 106 aces (more than 5 air-to-air victories) and lost some 100 planes in air-to-air combat. The three top scoring aces were W/O Ilmari Juutilainen (94 kills), Captain Hans Wind (78 kills) and Major Eino Luukkanen (56 kills).

The main combat plane of FinnAF today is Boeing F/A-18 Hornet. It is universally liked amongst the pilots due to its performance, reliability and agility. FinnAF routinely uses highways as emergency strips, as Hornet is originally a Navy plane and can both take off and land on short distance.
Rob Arndt - September 25, 2015 - Report this comment
I've always wondered how well the Finns would have done if the VL Wihuri and Puuska had moved beyond project status. The former was like a Finnish version of the Mosquito and the latter like a wooden Bf 109 with twin 20mm cannons!

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