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Song Parodies -> "Neanderthal Rhapsody"

Original Song Title:

"Bohemian Rhapsody"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Neanderthal Rhapsody"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

This parody came about from an email my wife sent me that had jokes about “that’s how the fight started.” I’m sure it’s made the rounds on the net, but it was the first time I had seen it. Hope you enjoy. “Quotations” denote the lines where the wife is speaking to the (clueless) husband.
Neanderthal Rhapsody

How do these fights start?
Don’t think it could be me
I’m good with punchlines
Do I say things haphazardly?
Open my eyes, I guess that it’s wise to flee
I’m not a smartass, I need some sympathy
Because I say the things on my mind, the wrong words, the wrong time
Any way her mood goes, I should keep my mouth closed, or be, sor-ry

Oh no, it's done again
Wife says she’s fat and ug-ly, needs a compliment from me
Honey, just from where I stand
Looks like your eyes can still see perfectly
Baby, what the hell, why you go and get so mad?
I swear I don’t know how these fights get started
I don’t know, could be me, I guess I’ll do better next time

Here goes, another chance
Her birthday hint you see, wants a gift fast and shine-y
Zero to two hundred, real fast you know
So I thought she would enjoy a brand new scale
Mama, she’s real pissed! (Any way her mood goes) Says I’m gonna die!
I sometimes think she begins fights just for fun


We’re watching TV in the master bedroom
Millionaire, Millionaire, we are watching a game show
Then I ask my wife please, would you have some sex with me?
(She says hell no) She says “Hell no!”
(She says hell no) She says “Hell no!”
She says “Hell no! Don’t think so!"
And so it go-o-oes!
I made her angry, but still I ask her
That your final answer? I ask her nicely
She says “Yes, that is my final answer”
So I say nicely I’d like to phone a friend
Wifezilla! “What! You’d like to phone a friend?”
(Phone a friend!) Wifezilla! “You will not phone a friend!”
(A girlfriend!) Wifezilla! “I’ll pound you to no end!”
(Let me phone!) “Will not phone a friend!”
(A girlfriend!) “Will not have girlfriend!” (Let me pho-o-one!)
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no!”
Oh mama mia, bad idea! (Mama mia, deal is blown!)
"I tell you bub, you've a devil of a time from me, you’ll be, sor-ry!"

So you think you can pound me and blacken my eye?
So you think you’ll deny me and give me no pie?
Oh, baby, what’d I do to you, baby?
“Just gotta shut mouth, just gotta shut big mouth, my dear”

Don’t know how these fights start, maybe I can see
Might know how these fights start
I know how these fights start, it's me

Anyway…her mood blows…
No Synthesizers!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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Christie Marie M - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Christie like parody! Christie finds funny! Christie give 5's!...Ode to domestic marital violence! And I thought husbands are the bad guys in the arguments!
John Barry - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Looks like Neanderthal "Rapsody." Some great subs in here.
Fiddlegirl - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
ROFLMAO! But I did manage to stop shaking long enough to enter 3 5s.
blackjack21 - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment

Christie: Me like 5s, husband just start fight, wife finish them. Ugh!

John: Was going to call it that, or "Neanderthal Rap City"

Fiddlegirl: Wow! My first ROFLMAO on here! Sweet!

Thanks guys, appreciate it.
Andy Primus - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Good idea - funny parody
Mark Scotti - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
An opus to aggresiveness! Well done. 555 black eyes...
alvin - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
great concept....this is how the fives started
carol - July 12, 2009 - Report this comment
555 (falls out of her chair laughing)
blackjack21 - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks Andy, Mark, alvin! And carol, hope you didn't get hurt falling out of your chair. :-)

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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