Song Parodies -> "Blokes Beer Swilling Rhapsody"

Original Song Title:

"Bohemian Rhapsody"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

Queen

Parody Song Title:

"Blokes Beer Swilling Rhapsody"

Parody Written by:

David Calleja

The Lyrics

Is this my beer wife
Or vodka and cranberry?
Vomiting mudslide
Barmaid's hooters distracted me
Open your mouth
Throw back your full glass and scream
I'm on the dole boy
Can only afford VB
Just get me pissed real fast
Want to score
Found some fags on
Toilet floor
Any way the beer flows
Just make sure it travels
Through me
Through me

Barmaid
Just leaked my pants
Wore my undies on my head
Men's line was long, and pipe was there
Barmaid
Couldn't hold it in
But now this big wet patch
Won't go away

Barmaid
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
Didn't mean to leak urine
I'll try getting back
Through that door tomorrow
Just serve on
Just serve on
'Cos I cannot hold my liquor

Too late
My round has come
Melbourne Bitter will do fine
Or my mates will all drink Sprite
Goodbye all the bar staff
My hangover
Reckon it will soon arrive
I need to spew

Barmaid
Ooooooooooooh
I don't want red wine
Cider, rum, gin, whiskey or bourbon

I see a little chicky babe at the bar
Scatter soon, scatter soon or your pick-up line won't work
Check her Adam's apple
Sure she won't stand when she pees?
Buy a drink oh
Buy a drink oh
Buy a drink for her, you're in
A Tooheys New..ew..ew..ew..ew..ew..ew..ew

I'm just a poor boy, can we kiss and f--k please?
(He's just a poor boy, never gets out you see)
Before making love
He welds his wife's front teeth

Coopers Red, Coopers Green
Will you let me skol?

It's Pilsner! No we will not let you skol
(Let him skol)
It's Pilsner! No we will not let you skol
(Let him skol)
It's Pilsner! No we will not let you skol
(Let him skol)
Will not let you skol
(Let him skol)
Will not let you skol
(Let him skol)
Will not let you skol
(Let him skol...ol....ol....ol...ol...ol...ol....ol)

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Buy a VB
Buy a VB ah
Buy a VB and then she's yours
Remember though
If she has a fatter bloke
Then flee
Then flee
THEN FLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

So you think you can offer
A cheap beer and then try
I'm a ladyboy with a middle leg
That swings left and right
Oh baby
You should felt my balls baby
Just run off now
Just run off now out of here

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
Taxi
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Now the pub is shutting
No lamb kebab for me
Man's best friend is lager
Man's best friend is lager
And me

Any way my beer flows

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crazy8snake - January 28, 2007 - Report this comment

Loved it. One of the best Rhapsodies yet. But I'm drunk. (hic)

Agrimorfee - January 29, 2007 - Report this comment

I'm sober, but I enjoyed it, too. I was saddened that pacing dropped here and there, because it started out so perfect...maybe it was the lagers. ("VB" is pronounced "veeb", I am guessing?), Ah, give it a 555 for all the effort.

David Calleja (author) - January 30, 2007 - Report this comment

Agrimorfee, I probably should thave mentioned in the notes as part of the description....VB is pronounced "veebee", as VB is short for Victoria Bitter, a well known Australian beer. Thanks for the feedback, Agri and crazy. It's much appreciated.

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