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Song Parodies -> "Jolie, She's Enraptured Me"
Original Song Title:
"Bohemian Rhapsody"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Queen
Parody Song Title:
"Jolie, She's Enraptured Me"
Parody Written by:
Rick Cormier
The Lyrics
She's not my real wife
I'm just a fan, you see
Knots pin my hands tied
Oh, I'm draped in a phallusy
Hopin' it flies. Shook up and surprised, I'd be
Prime, lusty boy-toy. I'd keep the nymph happy
She'd pause, she'd see me dumb, see me slow
Little guy, little dough
Anyway, her limbs flow.
Dunces leering at her
Do me! Do me!
Lara, could kill a man
You could stun, undressed, in bed. Make it bigger. Wow! It's red!
Lara, waif with bust undone
See how I've grown.mad, gone on holiday
Lara, ooh. In a dream, I take you high
I climb your back. Your glen, it's mine to furrow
Tally-ho, tally-ho! Even hunting gear, she flatters
Cool mate. My kind of fun
Men give her valentines,
Naughty cakes and balls of twine
Could die from her body. I'm hot to know
Can't believe this doll's behind. Her face is smooth
Lara, ooh, (anyway, her limbs flow) My, you haunt a guy
I'm tongue-tied, fish-eyed, never been boinked at all
(Guitar solo, leading to stacatto piano)
I'd squeal a little from stiletto heel to groin
(Such a tush! Such a tush! You don't let this fan dangle)
(Wonderful, exciting! Thank you for inviting me.)
(Gonna lay, oh) Gonna lay, oh (Gonna lay, oh) Gonna lay, oh (Gonna lay, oh) Big, I grow
Bag nymph and go (oh-oh-oh-oh)
Fine busted boy-toy. So bloody lovely!
(She must have more toys than a store, probably)
(Carefree, her life's just one long shopping spree)
Squeeze me some, squeeze me low. Can I have a go?
Bradzilla! (No, you let that monster go!)
(Tell him no!) Bradzilla! (You let that monster go!)
(Tell him no!) Bradzilla! (You let that monster go!)
(Tell him no!) Will not tell him no!
(Tell him no!) Will not tell him no! (Tell him no!)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
I wanna see her, wanna see her. (Wanna see her, let me go)
She fills the tub. Little Neville doubles size for me, for me, for me
(Guitar )
Oh, you stink! You disowned me, "cause Pitt is your guy
Oh, you stink! You just shove me and leave, free to fly
Oh, lady. Want your kiss, do me lady
Lust, gotta let out. Lust, gotta let right out right here
(Guitar crescendo to climax and then, let down, as reality finally sets in)
(Ooh, oh yeah, oh yeah)
Never will have at her. Just a fantasy
Neville will not have her
Never will have at her, not me
Anyway, her limbs flow
I'm just a fan, you see
Knots pin my hands tied
Oh, I'm draped in a phallusy
Hopin' it flies. Shook up and surprised, I'd be
Prime, lusty boy-toy. I'd keep the nymph happy
She'd pause, she'd see me dumb, see me slow
Little guy, little dough
Anyway, her limbs flow.
Dunces leering at her
Do me! Do me!
Lara, could kill a man
You could stun, undressed, in bed. Make it bigger. Wow! It's red!
Lara, waif with bust undone
See how I've grown.mad, gone on holiday
Lara, ooh. In a dream, I take you high
I climb your back. Your glen, it's mine to furrow
Tally-ho, tally-ho! Even hunting gear, she flatters
Cool mate. My kind of fun
Men give her valentines,
Naughty cakes and balls of twine
Could die from her body. I'm hot to know
Can't believe this doll's behind. Her face is smooth
Lara, ooh, (anyway, her limbs flow) My, you haunt a guy
I'm tongue-tied, fish-eyed, never been boinked at all
(Guitar solo, leading to stacatto piano)
I'd squeal a little from stiletto heel to groin
(Such a tush! Such a tush! You don't let this fan dangle)
(Wonderful, exciting! Thank you for inviting me.)
(Gonna lay, oh) Gonna lay, oh (Gonna lay, oh) Gonna lay, oh (Gonna lay, oh) Big, I grow
Bag nymph and go (oh-oh-oh-oh)
Fine busted boy-toy. So bloody lovely!
(She must have more toys than a store, probably)
(Carefree, her life's just one long shopping spree)
Squeeze me some, squeeze me low. Can I have a go?
Bradzilla! (No, you let that monster go!)
(Tell him no!) Bradzilla! (You let that monster go!)
(Tell him no!) Bradzilla! (You let that monster go!)
(Tell him no!) Will not tell him no!
(Tell him no!) Will not tell him no! (Tell him no!)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
I wanna see her, wanna see her. (Wanna see her, let me go)
She fills the tub. Little Neville doubles size for me, for me, for me
(Guitar )
Oh, you stink! You disowned me, "cause Pitt is your guy
Oh, you stink! You just shove me and leave, free to fly
Oh, lady. Want your kiss, do me lady
Lust, gotta let out. Lust, gotta let right out right here
(Guitar crescendo to climax and then, let down, as reality finally sets in)
(Ooh, oh yeah, oh yeah)
Never will have at her. Just a fantasy
Neville will not have her
Never will have at her, not me
Anyway, her limbs flow
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| 5 | 20 | 20 | 20 |
User Comments
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captures the enthusiasm/angst of the OS well
555, this is very funny and just made me think of my fetish.
Another Jolie good show. Maybe you can get her to adopt you and play Woody-and-Soon-Yi with her.
Very clever and funny fantasizing, here...You have mastered your Croft..555
Thank you Alvin, Stephen, MP (good idea) and AFW.
Wow! Excellent, Rick! TMGLTM but "Bradzilla" especially had me howling.
Great work Rick!, and "Tally-ho, tally-ho!" choked me up. Awesome title sub too. 5s.
Thanks Cat and Red Ant. I had fun with this one. The original is one of my favorite songs.
whoa, VERY nice, Rick! Normally I'm not a fan of syllable-for-syllable matching and its consequent bizarre line results (at the expense of a conversationally structured line), but not in this case - it made it funnier, given the OS, and the funniness was IN the bizarre results (ie laughing WITH your contorted attempts) - the OS's bizarre lines can take a bit of credit here too - "Bradzilla" was a classic, and "Little Neville doubles size for me" and even the title sub was great - big LOLs from me - 555
Thanks, Stu. You're right about the OS's bizarre lines. That made it a little easier for me to be bizarre and get away with it.
Well written
Thanks Larry. :-)
What Stuart said, verbatim. You'd better be careful, though, or you might just inspire an ENTIRE MUSICAL full of nothing but Angelina parodies. (I have dibs on "Namibian Rhapsody.")
Hmmm, an entire musical of nothing but Angelina parodies? BRILLIANT!
(ABC3) Good idea, very ingenius, to the point of "dear god, how does he do those ryhmes so flawlessly?" But "Bradzilla" is what hit me hardest. 555
(ABC) TOTAL GENIUS. 555.
yes, I recently referred to my admiration for this one on the MB - and it's for all its "brilliantly stupid" (thanks for that expression JD) "nutso" (thanks for that word, Kristof) lines like "You could stun, undressed, in bed. Make it bigger. Wow! It's red!" - that just makes my eyes water with laughter....
Wow..... So ya never got to have her, what a shame, I suppose there's always J-Lo...
(ABC) Masterly Crofted. But... I heard another song by you... It said differently (she dumped you man)
(ABC3J) What Red Ant said. What everyone else said, too. Top funny write, Rick
(ABC3J) So THIS is what inspired that Brnagelina thingamajiggopera? AWESOME! 555
Hee hee hee. We'll have to raid the tomb for some 5's.---MM
(ABC3J) How did I miss this one? What Stuart said...syllable matching actually makes this far funnier because it's absurdity matches the absurdity of the OS. Classic. "Bag nymph and go" slayed me. 555+
Incredible effort on a classic song. Many great lines ("I'd squeal a little from stiletto heel to groin" was one of my favorite)
What a fantasy! And more...so many lines I loved. : )
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