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Song Parodies -> "50 Tries to Repeal Health Care"

Original Song Title:

"50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"50 Tries to Repeal Health Care"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Look, I get it: They want to show their supporters that they tried to repeal it. Fine, that explains the first try. But why the next 49? They KNOW they're not going to get it repealed until they get a President of their own party -- if then! But instead of trying to pass jobs bills, or background checks for firearm purchases (something a majority of their own party's voters supports), they keep on trying to repeal a law that was previously passed by both houses of Congress, signed into law by the President, upheld as constitutional by the Supreme Court, and essentially approved by the voters in a national referendum through the re-election of said President. So if they know voting to repeal it is never going to work, why do they keep doing it? Some say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result. I say insanity is increasing your firepower, when everyone observing your shots is telling you that your aim stinks.
The problem is all inside their heads, it seems to me.
The answer is easy if they take it logically.
But of logic, their minds seem totally free.
There must be 50 tries to repeal health care.

They show it really is their habit to intrude.
Furthermore, their silly meaning simply can't be misconstrued.
And they repeat themselves, at the risk of being booed.
There must be 50 tries to repeal health care.
50 tries to repeal health care.

They're launching attack, Jack
against Obama's plan, Stan.
Trying to destroy, Roy
this new policy.
They're making a fuss, Gus
though it has been discussed much.
It's futility, Lee.
In today's G.O.P.

They must be on crack, Jack.
They blew it again, Stan
with this nincompoop ploy, Roy.
Won't listen to me.
They might need a truss, Gus
for their mouths 'cause they cuss much.
It's stupidity, Lee
in today's G.O.P.

It does not grieve them when they see you in such pain.
But now you can get that all covered in the main.
And they don't appreciate that.
So here they come with all their 50 tries.

Get cheap pills helping you to sleep on it tonight.
But in the morning, those guys still won't see the light.
And they disgust me, 'cause their views remain far-right
with all their 50 tries to repeal health care.
50 tries to repeal health care.

They're launching attack, Jack
against Obama's plan, Stan.
Trying to destroy, Roy
this new policy.
They're making a fuss, Gus
though it has been discussed much.
It's rigidity, Lee.
In today's G.O.P.

They must be on crack, Jack.
They blew it again, Stan
with this nincompoop ploy, Roy.
Won't listen to me.
They might need a truss, Gus
for their mouths 'cause they cuss much.
It's insanity, Lee
in today's G.O.P.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.2

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   5

User Comments

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Reality Memo - March 11, 2014 - Report this comment
When you die of appendicitis for lack of coverage on your crappy government plan and get to Hell, leftard, say "hi" to Joe McGinniss. He's down there roasting today with the rest of you vote-fraudster racist misogynistic child-anus-molesting baby butchers who've gone to be with Satan.
Patrick - March 11, 2014 - Report this comment
Well written. Paul Simon didn't actually list 50 ways. That would have resulted in a song almost as long as the Obamacare Act. The Affordable Care Act is a lie from the title onward. Triple premiums, then eliminate the 40-hour work week. When we allow a bunch of fools who don't know the difference between health care and health insurance to seize control of a vital industry, we don't need al-Qaeda to destroy us. When the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court can't tell the difference between a "fine" and a "tax", something is wrong, or someone got a threatening phone call. Until I see Obama's name on the sign-up registry, I ain't buying it. Couldn't afford it anyway.
John Jenkins - March 11, 2014 - Report this comment
Not bad, MP. Your parody is definitely better than the one President Obama is working on - "50 Ways to Revise Obamacare Without Getting Congressional Approval."
Callmelennie - March 11, 2014 - Report this comment
Love your evidence of a national referendum on Obamacare. So I guess the Democratic electoral reversal (the biggest for either party in 62 years) that occurred seven and a half months after O-care was passed didn't count as much as the re-election of Obama by a narrow margin two years later. No it was "that other issue" that weighed so heavily on voter's minds in 2010 that it distorted the fact that everyone actually loved how O-care was passed. Ri-i-i-ight
Leo - March 11, 2014 - Report this comment
Um... it's a parody, trolls, not a political manifesto. Seriously, you guys could run for Congress with the reactionary hyperventilating... Oh, and to the author: the title phrase could scan better, but overall, nicely done.
Reality Check - March 11, 2014 - Report this comment
Whoa, dude, take a chill pill, or many. You need 50 ways to be sedated.
Jonathan - March 11, 2014 - Report this comment
not bad don't necessarily agree with the message here but well-written nonetheless 4's
Probama - March 11, 2014 - Report this comment
Warning, here comes Lennie boy with his false facts and illogical conclusions based on his deep seated hatred of the man President Barack Obama. Why? Cuz he's a black man in a White House and btw, Lennie Obama's re-election was a landslide. Your whitebread boy, blonde Jesus cult-lovin' rich guy with non-working wife thought he could buy the election and failed. That 47% comment killed him as well as his fascist running mate Ryan and his sinister plans to protect the 1% ruining this nation. ACA was declared constitutional legally and you Repugnians still wanna claim that Obama is destroying that document and taking away rights? Get real clowns. Obama's got us in recovery and the numbers don't lie. Look at the absolutley poor state of the GOP right now having to fight its rightwing nutcase tea party fanatics. Well a house divided... falls. No Repugnian win in 2016. Go move to Idaho Lennie and join the survivalist pro-gun anti-gov hillbillies. You'd fit right in with those backward in-breeding cave dwellers.
Dave W. - March 11, 2014 - Report this comment
Seems political satire gets too much attention here .....I think that the Negative comments have gone too far and should not allowed access to get on just gets people agitated.....This place is not designed to be that kind of a platform.....There are a few spoil sports here.....Although there are some amusing ones now and then, the parody Nazi's have gone too far...this place used to be fun before .....Who will stand up to these terrorists? Why are they able to get away with such obscene comments ?...While some parodies may be crappy , do we still have to take someone else's shhit on the subject. ? does this sight disgrace...Even the French wouldn't like it :)
@Dave W. - March 12, 2014 - Report this comment
What I would suggest to you, Dave W, is that you get yourself registered at InThe00s and make your thoughts known via the threads dealing with AmIRight over there. Perhaps if enough writers did that, something might get done to address the problem.
Rob Arndt - March 12, 2014 - Report this comment
There already is a way provided- the Report link for the comments! If someone is attacking you and not the parody or using obscene language, just report it to Chuck for removal. That's not censorship as that type of garbage needs removing. And political parodies will always get 1-bombed b/c someone will always take the opposing ideological stance. If MP is left-wing then a right-winger will counter in words and/or low vote. I get that all the time for my weapons and war parodies. Anyway, 555 for the parody MP b/c you write well (even though I personally do not agree with ACA). I AM for healthcare reform, but a better version that can really reign-in the high cost Healthcare BUSINESS MACHINE. True, affordable healthcare died a long time ago. Doctors are no longer required to take oaths and pharmaceuticals are allowed to keep generics at bay for long periods of time. Hospitals rape patients over fees and charge those w/o healthcare up to 3x more for the SAME treatment!!! Something is very wrong in this nation. My objection to Obamacare is that it passed as the weakest version just to get passed. What we needed was a bi-partisan strong version beneficial to everyone. IMO...
Patrick - March 12, 2014 - Report this comment
Just because Judge Roberts yielded to political pressure and or threats of bodily harm does not make this monstrosity "constitutional". The courts are wholly owned subsidiaries of the same unholy cartel that runs the rest of the government. They know how to vote to keep them on this side of the turf for as long as possible.
Michael Pacholek - March 13, 2014 - Report this comment
Just because Justice Kennedy yielded to political pressure and/or threats of bodily harm does not mean Bush won in Florida or that corporations are "people." See? Two can play at that game. The point is, the people re-elected Obama, thus approving Obamacare, and it is working. If you don't like it, move to a country with LESS government-approved health care. If you can find one.
Patrick - March 14, 2014 - Report this comment
As long as the Republican party runs candidates whose only belief is in compromising with the Democrats, they will continue to lose. Obamacare is designed to "fail", resulting in a "mandate" for a single-payer Euro-socialist health care system. The only way we could afford it would be for the Corporate-Crony government to give up its dreams of military domination of the world. They aren't about to do that. To the extent that medical care is technology, it should be getting cheaper, just as computers and consumer electronics have done. Government intervention is the reason this sector of the economy costs more out of proportion to other goods and services.

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