Look out children, there's a big game versus Saddle River
With their phenom pitcher, they're the best and we don't have a prayer
I think you'd better call George, 'cause I think we might need him to deliver a play'r
And its less than a week away
I need this new kid to play
They've got talent on their side, I don't cheat, I'm just making it fair

Jones can't field, Rodriguez hits like he's Ray Ordonez
These kids are thirteen but they play like they're in preschool
If you don't like my new star player, just mind your own biz
And he just turned twenty-two
And he's on loan from Trenton, too
And the more juice he shot, the more those muscles grew

Georgie's ringer at the plate felt reassurin'
I told him swing away, son, this pitcher has got nothin'
But when he ripped a line drive foul, I saw it comin'
Raised my hands up to the sky
Never stopped to wonder why
Then I saw seams, and the ball smashed in my eye

Shelter me from my ballclub's hired ringer
Four line drives hit me, helped me reconsider
Think of me as one who's a true winner
The players are so young, but still my move was dumb
I'll make sure that my next stud ain't a pull hitter!