I'm obsessed with booger countin'
Here's a big one that's all covered with goo
Got more than twenty; the total's mountin'
Blew my nose and my booger count just grew
Yes, out my nose they flew

See my nose has lots of hairs, all the boogers stick in there
Here's a big one I just got, 'cause I picked at the right spot

My nose is a booger fountain
Yellow honkers; they're all covered with ooze
Boogers a-plenty, I keep a-honkin'
Blow my nose and then out come boogers; new
The booger count; it grew

You must clip your nails just right, cause a bloody nose does bite
Get that finger up your nose, watch your booger pile; it grows

So obsessed with booger countin'
Onto paper I have stuck each one to
I've sure got plenty; the pile keeps mountin'
Sure my nostrils will sustain an ugly bruise
That will give me the blues

This one's stuck in your nose hairs; big one that you want to snare
Now you poke it; it's real wet, tamp it down until it's set

I'm possessed by booger countin'
Yellow honkers; big and covered with ooze
I get real pleased when my total's mounting
Boogers everywhere; with pride I do peruse
The sight; it does amuse

Now you've found a giant gob; plucking it out brings a sob
And you notice now you bleed; blood pours out your nose with speed

Nose now is a gushing fountain
Bloods pours forth, caused by all that abuse
Then scabs will form and you will be "ouchin"
Woe, you better leave your nose alone, real soon
Stop picking it, you goon