I saw her skulking on her bedroom floor
C'mon please Daddy let me spin once more
Gone .. gone her childhood gone

I hid her spinners so she met a friend
I saw the dreidle take her allowance again
Gone.. gone allowance gone

I wrote this song because I love the child
That spinning top has her mind beguiled
Flat bust, rolled another Shin

I've seen the dreidle and the damage done
Dreidle bug can seize anyone
Now every Hannukah's a loser's run
(Thunderous applause)

(Da AH da doo da doo da; da AH da doo da doo dah ...)

Ten dollars and pizza coming
We're finally on our own
This summer I hear the doorbell
Four toppings and thick crust dough

Cannot pig out on it
Stoners are scarfing it down
Should have lasted hours more
What if you saw some
Dropped there on the ground
How could you eat it if you know

(Instrumental break)

Gotta clean up after it
Stoners tossing crusts around
Should've have booted them long ago
What if you saw them
Smearing grease on the couch
How could you order if you knew

Ten dollars and pizza coming
We're finally on our own
This summer I scrub the grease spot
Four toppings and thick crust dough

Four toppings and thick crust dough
Four toppings and thick crust dough (Look at my couch!)
Four toppings and thick crust dough (Can't take anymore!)
Four toppings and thick crust dough (Won't do this no more!)
Four toppings and thick crust dough (GUYS!)
Four toppings and thick crust dough (GUYS!)
Four toppings and thick crust dough (GUYS!) ........

(And, finally ...)

Hello, coleslaw in the pan
Spent another night in the can
I've been squirting on the pot for days
Din't they chill your mayonaisse
Warm enough now, my gut inflamed
With so many sickened are you to blame
It's the lawyer in me that makes me want to
Press this claim

Hello chicken, colored rust
Din' t they cook you as they must
Three days glued to a toilet seat
Is it due to your pinkish meat
Cold enough to set my gut aflame
With so many sickened are you to blame
It's the lawyer in me that makes me want to
Press this claim

Hello, owner of this stand
This is more'n a reprimand
Haven't we seen your face before
Weren't you busted back in June 'oh four
Bold enough now to change your name
With so many sickened, it's you we'll blame
It's the lawyer in me that makes me want to
File this claim