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Song Parodies -> "Pope Ben"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Michael Jackson

Parody Song Title:

"Pope Ben"

Parody Written by:

Melanie Lee

The Lyrics

From a song about a rat to a song about Pope, Pope Benedict XVI.
Ben, the cardinals need vote no more.
They've all found what they've been voting for:
A new pope to call our own,
A skullcap on your dome.
You greet the crowds with glee:
"You've got a pope in me."
("You've got a pope in me.")

Ben, that eulogy from Peter's Square,
It impressed the people everywhere!
Gays and feminists might mind
Your ideas seem behind.
Third worlders say with woe,
"Another white pope—no!"
("Another white pope—no!")

We used to have
John Paul II.
Now it's Ratz.
Now it's you.

(We used to have
John Paul II.
Now it's Ratz.
Now it's you.)

Ben, your Hitler Youth was yesterday. (was yesterday)
It's no bearing on the you today. (or so you say)
So, we'll take a chance on you;
At least we will try to.
Whether you're foe or friend,
Now we have a pope called Ben.
(called Ben)

Pope Ben.
(Pope Ben.)
Pope Ben.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

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Johnny D - April 22, 2005 - Report this comment
What a bizarre round-about circle of synchronicity and wacky coincidence here... A parody of a song about a rat called Ben about a Ratzinger called Benedict who's in charge of a church embroiled in allegations of child-molestation as is the original singer of that song about a rat called Ben----YIKES---good parody, Melanie Lee.
Michael Pacholek - April 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Once again... I got a biiiig mouuuuth...
Lurker - April 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Very clever, in most respects. Would have gotten 5-5-5 if it had noc contained inaccurracies. Which ones? (1) "Gays and feminists might mind Your ideas seem behind." What the Church teaches through the pope (Vicar of Christ) is what Jesus (God) taught. -- so it is, by definition, not "behind," but reliable and timeless. Catholic doctrine has never changed, and never will change (discipline/practice, yes -- doctrine, no). (2) "Third worlders say with woe, 'Another white pope"no!'" Nonsense! Had you been watching, you would have noticed that there were many "third worlders" in St. Peter's Square, loudly applauding the election of Cardinal Ratzinger. Moreover, the "white popes" of 1958-2005 have named dozens of brown/black/yellow "third world" cardinals -- so many, in fact, that they can sway a papal election. (3) "your Hitler Youth was yesterday. It's no bearing on the you today (or so you say)" Yikes! You don't read the paper. It was not the pope who commented about "Hitler Youth," but the Jewish Anti-Defamation League and the "Jerusalem Post" that reassured all that "it has no bearing" today. The new pope was forced, at age 12, to join the Hitler Youth, but got out of it when he became a seminarian. His father was an anti-Nazi who taught his sons that Naziism was evil. Today's Jewish leaders know well that Cardinal Ratzinger has worked hard against anti-Judaism since he was ordained.
Michael Pacholek - April 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Once again, Lurker is a liar. "What Jesus taught"? Show me one thing Jesus ever said about homosexuality or feminism. "Catholic doctrine has never changed"? Galileo might disagree. Come to think of it, so might Angelo Roncalli, or do you consider John XXIII to be one of those fallible Popes? As for the Nazi thing, just because the Ratzingers, the new Pope included, repudiated the Hitler government, and have worked to bridge the gap between Christians and Jews, doesn't mean Benedict isn't too far to the right for the good of the world. You are doing your cause more harm than good. Maybe you should call Ann Coulter. The TIME cover story seems to suggest that she still hasn't found the (far) right guy. If you can stand up to his whips, you might be the one.
Melanie - April 27, 2005 - Report this comment
***Today's Jewish leaders know well that Cardinal Ratzinger has worked hard against **anti-Judaism** since he was ordained. *** Anti-Judaism? Was that a Freudian slip? Anyway, thanks for your corrections, but I was writing a song parody, not a historical dissertation. : D
Jean - June 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Talent - excellent. Nerve (to take on something that was almost certain to offend someone) - exceptional. Heart - a little lacking. Imagination - good. Recommendations - Try one totally positive. Negativity has gotten too common. Upbeat would be refreshing.
Melanie Lee - February 11, 2013 - Report this comment
Well, now that Pope Ben is retiring, I thought I'd revisit this little parody. And it seems I misunderstood Lurker's "against anti-Judaism" statement; the "double negative" threw me. My apologies, Lurker. Jean: thanks for the evaluation; I believe I've written at least a few positive parodies over the years. Well, people, do you suppose we'll get Pope George Ringo now? ;)

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