I remember every little thing
As if it happened only yesterday
Squatting in the bathroom
There was not another dude around

And I never saw a guy
Whose feet looked as lovely as yours did
And so that's when I thought
I could signal you by making sounds

And now our feet were so awfully close and tight
And so I thought I'd get a bathroom date that night
And I was showin' you my signal by a-tappin' my foot
You look, Oh, so good!
You look, Oh so good!

And if you squeeze your body underneath that wall
We might have paradise in the bathroom stall

Ain't no doubt about it
I was feelin' blessed
We were in the airport loo
And we were barely dressed

Ain't no doubt about it
But they'll hear us if we go and shout it
Ain't no doubt about it
I was feelin' blessed
We were in the airport loo
And we were barely dressed

Sweetie, don't cha hear my heart
You got it drowning out my Number 2
I've been waiting so long
To go "cruising" in a public place

And I gotta let you know
Even though I don't know what your name is yet
So look below the wall, you wanna see my balls?
Then, you show me yours
You know, you really turn me on

And now our feet were so awfully close and tight
And so I thought I'd get a bathroom date that night
And I was showin' you my signal by a-tappin' my foot
You look, Oh, so good!
You look, Oh so good!

And I don't care if you make me miss my flight
'Cause we'll have paradise by the bathroom lights

We're just two fellas in love
In a lavatory stall, no less
Ain't no doubt about it
I was feelin' blessed
We were in the airport loo
And we were barely

We're gonna go all the way tonight
We're gonna go all the way
Tonight's the night

AIRPORT ANNOUNCER:

Paging Ben Dover, Harry Balz, and Mike Rotch. Ben Dover, Harry Balz, and Mike Rotch. Please meet your party at gate 69, concourse KY. Flight I8U2 to Fukuoka, Japan, will be leaving in 20 minutes. Attention all passengers. In the event of a water landing, please grab hold of a passenger with large flotation devices. We're sorry you have to undergo a pat-down screening, but security requires it; you might have a suspicious object in your undergarments. The results of your full-body scan will be strictly confidential, shared only with security personnel and Hugh Hefner. Again, paging Ben Dover, Harry Balz, and Mike....

Other guy shouts:

Stop right there! I gotta know right now
Before we go any further, will you do me
Do you intend to screw me
Do you like me
Do you want to spike me
Are you tapping your foot 'cause you want me in bed
Do you want a massage? For me to give you some head?
Will you do me
Do you intend to screw me
Do you like me
Do you want to spike me
Are you tapping your foot 'cause you want me in bed
Do you want a massage? For me to give you some head?
I gotta know right now
Before we go any further
Will you do me
Do you intend to screw me

First guy:

Yes, I want your sex
Mister, mister, yes I want your sex
Yeah, I want your sex
I'll buy you some breakfast in the morning

Yes, I want your sex
Mister, mister, yes I want your sex
Yeah, I want your sex
I'll buy you some breakfast in the morning

Yes, I want your sex
Mister, mister, yes I want your sex
Yeah, I want your sex
I'll buy you some breakfast in the morning

Second guy:

I gotta know right now
Will you do me
Do you intend to screw me
Do you like me
Do you want to spike me
Are you tapping your foot 'cause you want me in bed
Do you want a massage? For me to give you some head?
I gotta know right now
Before we go any further
Will you do me
Do you intend to screw me

First guy:

Yes, I want your sex
Mister, mister, yes I want your sex
Yeah, I want your sex
I'll buy you some breakfast in the morning

Second guy:

Do you intend to screw me?

First guy:

Yes I want your sex....

All of a sudden, the second guy whips out his....badge....and reveals to the first guy that he is an undercover cop. Then he sings:

I couldn't take it any longer
You're under arrest
All because you tried to screw me
In a public place
And now I'm swearing on my badge
And on my blue uniform
That I will make you pay a hefty fine
Oh yeah, I will make you pay a hefty fine

First guy:

So now I've gotta pay a hefty fine
Because my foot went over the line
Although I tried to tell the cop that I just got a wide stance
Due to problems that I got with my spine

And now I'm telling people that I am not gay
No, certainly not in such a public way
I've gotta pay a hefty fine
And everybody knows
I've gotta pay a hefty fine
'Cause I tried to make a cop get low

First guy sings:
No, no, I am not gay and I have never been
Though I cruise those bathroom stalls in search of men

Cop sings:
And you were on the john, and you felt so good
And you were showin' me your signal by a-tappin' your foot