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Song Parodies -> "No Paradise At The Old Campsite"
Original Song Title:
"Paradise By The Dashboard Light"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Meat Loaf
Parody Song Title:
"No Paradise At The Old Campsite"
Parody Written by:
Agrimorfee
The Lyrics
Entry for Song Parody Challenge. Not based on a true story.
I remember every little thing
As if it happened only yesterday
Camping by the lake
No sign of civ'lization in sight
I couldn't understand
The joys of nature like they did
Another month at school
I'm wishing instead of this plight
Packed like sardines, the tent is tight
And I don't feel so good, and look, my skin is white
I'm afraid we'll meet a killer who'll attack with a knife
I'm afraid we'll meet a killer who'll attack with a knife
Oh Mom, what a fright!
Oh Mom, what a fright!
And it's hot and smelly in the outhouse light
I can see buzzing flies on a fresh turd fight
Now I gotta shout it
There's a hornet's nest!
We're at Campsite 17
And I'm not impressed!
I don't wanna rough it
Take this trip and stuff it
I don't have to love it
I shoo away the pests
We're at Campsite 17
And I'm not impressed!
Daddy, didja hear the news?
They're expecting a tornado!
And it won't be too long
For bears to come along and eat us up!
When they come up to our tent
Dontcha dare try to pet 'em
Just wait 'til they try to eat all our supplies
In the dead of night!
Did anyone think to bring a gun?
So we're going back to nature, right?
It doesn't feel real good, time to take a flight?
And I swear I hear a killer creeping 'round with a knife
And I swear I hear a killer creeping 'round with a knife
Oh Mom, what a fright!
Oh Mom, what a fright!
Now it's cold and rainy in the deep dark night
I can't see paradise in this old campsite
It's so cold and rainy in the deep dark night
I can't see paradise in this old campsite
Still awake on my mat
And there's no way I can rest
Look through my binocs'
Oh wow! I've been blessed!
There's a chick who's 17
And I can see her---
We're gonna go out on a nature hike
And we won't be back "til tonight, tonight(4x)
(Narration performed by Jeff Probst, host of CBS Television's "Survivor':)
OK here we go, we got a real back breaker here. Trees down, no cell phone, no I-pod. Bottom of the cliff, all the way to the top, and here it is! The Miraculous Stone Cut Devil! Look at the slope! He's running first across the wooden bridge, not looking where's going at all, he's going to step on the second tier, it's hollowed out at the center, and he steps off the row, down the hole! He's gonna slide down, feet first, the poor bum, he's out? No wait, he's awake, but quite bruised in the face, this kid is really accident prone out there. Now he steps up towards the lake, here's the clinch—he's falling, and what a splash he's got! He's sinking, for the third time! What do you know, he's hit the dirt. What a nerd! Holy cow, it's a snake! He's running ahead, nearly 60 feet from there, almost got his arm bit off. Then he gallops over, stands up, and now he's tripped! Tripped over an old log—there's an old hive with bees he sits on! There he is, knees splayed, he's torn up his clothes, looks like he's gonna blow, he's getting red in the face! Holy cow, I think he's gonna flake out!
STOP RIGHT THERE!
I WANNA GO HOME NOW!
Before we go any further
I am hungry!
I think I got a fever
And I'm thirsty
Will someone please relieve me?
I refuse to go camping for the rest of my life
Will you take me away from this mis'ry and strife?
I wanna go home now!
Before we walk any further
Will you save me?
Curse your camping forever!
(Mom:)
Why don't you sleep on it?
Maybe, maybe you should sleep on it?
Why don't you sleep on it?
And maybe you'll feel better in the morning
(REPEAT TWICE)
I WANNA GO HOME NOW!
I am angry
Torn a hole in my sweater
And I'm dripping
Will you please relieve me?
I refuse to go camping for the rest of my life
Will you take me away from this mis'ry and strife?
I wanna go home now
Be a good mom and father
Will you help me?
Curse your camping forever!
(Dad:)
Is that the way it's gonna be, boy?
It's a six hour drive back to Springfield, all night!
Is that the way it's gonna be, boy?
Yes or no?!
(Mom again:)
Why don't you sleep on it?
Maybe, maybe you should sleep on it?
Why don't you sleep on it?
And maybe you'll feel better in the morning
I GOTTA GO HOME NOW!
I am cranky!
I guess you should know I've not been sleeping!
From all the shrieking and peeping
I refuse to go camping for the rest of my life
Will you take me away from this mis'ry and strife?
I gotta go home now!
Because my own health matters
Won't you help me!?
Curse the camping forever
(Mom:)Why don't you sleep on it?
Curse your camping forever!
(Dad:)Why don't you sleep on it?
Curse your camping forever!
(Mom & Dad:)Why don't you sleep on it?
Curse your camping forever!
So that might have gone on longer
I was unfazed
So I held my breath and stood 'til I was blue in the face
Dad started shouting "Oh my God!" and my mother was grave
They said that 'til the end of time
They swore that I'm not camping in the summertime!
So now I'm staying with Aunt Tillie this time
A big mistake, man alive!
'Cause if I have to spend another minute with her
I don't think that I can really survive!
Another round of chess, and "Matlock"'s on right now
I'm as bored as hell with that spinster cow!
So maybe now next summertime
Here is what I'll do! (do, do)
I'll sneak out from the relatives, and I'll just live out in the zoo!
(Fadeout continuously, with 2 voices:)
It was long ago, and such a big mistake
That weekend that I had down at Camp Crystal Lake
[I just don't feel so good, and look my skin is white
And I'm feeling like a killer's walking 'round with a knife]
As if it happened only yesterday
Camping by the lake
No sign of civ'lization in sight
I couldn't understand
The joys of nature like they did
Another month at school
I'm wishing instead of this plight
Packed like sardines, the tent is tight
And I don't feel so good, and look, my skin is white
I'm afraid we'll meet a killer who'll attack with a knife
I'm afraid we'll meet a killer who'll attack with a knife
Oh Mom, what a fright!
Oh Mom, what a fright!
And it's hot and smelly in the outhouse light
I can see buzzing flies on a fresh turd fight
Now I gotta shout it
There's a hornet's nest!
We're at Campsite 17
And I'm not impressed!
I don't wanna rough it
Take this trip and stuff it
I don't have to love it
I shoo away the pests
We're at Campsite 17
And I'm not impressed!
Daddy, didja hear the news?
They're expecting a tornado!
And it won't be too long
For bears to come along and eat us up!
When they come up to our tent
Dontcha dare try to pet 'em
Just wait 'til they try to eat all our supplies
In the dead of night!
Did anyone think to bring a gun?
So we're going back to nature, right?
It doesn't feel real good, time to take a flight?
And I swear I hear a killer creeping 'round with a knife
And I swear I hear a killer creeping 'round with a knife
Oh Mom, what a fright!
Oh Mom, what a fright!
Now it's cold and rainy in the deep dark night
I can't see paradise in this old campsite
It's so cold and rainy in the deep dark night
I can't see paradise in this old campsite
Still awake on my mat
And there's no way I can rest
Look through my binocs'
Oh wow! I've been blessed!
There's a chick who's 17
And I can see her---
We're gonna go out on a nature hike
And we won't be back "til tonight, tonight(4x)
(Narration performed by Jeff Probst, host of CBS Television's "Survivor':)
OK here we go, we got a real back breaker here. Trees down, no cell phone, no I-pod. Bottom of the cliff, all the way to the top, and here it is! The Miraculous Stone Cut Devil! Look at the slope! He's running first across the wooden bridge, not looking where's going at all, he's going to step on the second tier, it's hollowed out at the center, and he steps off the row, down the hole! He's gonna slide down, feet first, the poor bum, he's out? No wait, he's awake, but quite bruised in the face, this kid is really accident prone out there. Now he steps up towards the lake, here's the clinch—he's falling, and what a splash he's got! He's sinking, for the third time! What do you know, he's hit the dirt. What a nerd! Holy cow, it's a snake! He's running ahead, nearly 60 feet from there, almost got his arm bit off. Then he gallops over, stands up, and now he's tripped! Tripped over an old log—there's an old hive with bees he sits on! There he is, knees splayed, he's torn up his clothes, looks like he's gonna blow, he's getting red in the face! Holy cow, I think he's gonna flake out!
STOP RIGHT THERE!
I WANNA GO HOME NOW!
Before we go any further
I am hungry!
I think I got a fever
And I'm thirsty
Will someone please relieve me?
I refuse to go camping for the rest of my life
Will you take me away from this mis'ry and strife?
I wanna go home now!
Before we walk any further
Will you save me?
Curse your camping forever!
(Mom:)
Why don't you sleep on it?
Maybe, maybe you should sleep on it?
Why don't you sleep on it?
And maybe you'll feel better in the morning
(REPEAT TWICE)
I WANNA GO HOME NOW!
I am angry
Torn a hole in my sweater
And I'm dripping
Will you please relieve me?
I refuse to go camping for the rest of my life
Will you take me away from this mis'ry and strife?
I wanna go home now
Be a good mom and father
Will you help me?
Curse your camping forever!
(Dad:)
Is that the way it's gonna be, boy?
It's a six hour drive back to Springfield, all night!
Is that the way it's gonna be, boy?
Yes or no?!
(Mom again:)
Why don't you sleep on it?
Maybe, maybe you should sleep on it?
Why don't you sleep on it?
And maybe you'll feel better in the morning
I GOTTA GO HOME NOW!
I am cranky!
I guess you should know I've not been sleeping!
From all the shrieking and peeping
I refuse to go camping for the rest of my life
Will you take me away from this mis'ry and strife?
I gotta go home now!
Because my own health matters
Won't you help me!?
Curse the camping forever
(Mom:)Why don't you sleep on it?
Curse your camping forever!
(Dad:)Why don't you sleep on it?
Curse your camping forever!
(Mom & Dad:)Why don't you sleep on it?
Curse your camping forever!
So that might have gone on longer
I was unfazed
So I held my breath and stood 'til I was blue in the face
Dad started shouting "Oh my God!" and my mother was grave
They said that 'til the end of time
They swore that I'm not camping in the summertime!
So now I'm staying with Aunt Tillie this time
A big mistake, man alive!
'Cause if I have to spend another minute with her
I don't think that I can really survive!
Another round of chess, and "Matlock"'s on right now
I'm as bored as hell with that spinster cow!
So maybe now next summertime
Here is what I'll do! (do, do)
I'll sneak out from the relatives, and I'll just live out in the zoo!
(Fadeout continuously, with 2 voices:)
It was long ago, and such a big mistake
That weekend that I had down at Camp Crystal Lake
[I just don't feel so good, and look my skin is white
And I'm feeling like a killer's walking 'round with a knife]
Copyright 2006, Agrimorfee.
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Place Your Vote |
Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 27 | 29 | 28 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
WOOOOOWWWWW. I know I could never tackle this beast of a song, and you slayed it single-handedly, Agri. 5s plus definitely, by far one of if not your best one ever.
great job on a tough song...bravo
Relax, Agri, have a sedagive (SEDAGIVE?!!) ;-) 555
Thank you for taking me on this wild adventure. I did not realize mere lyrics could do that to me. I'm just wondering: was I the only reader who had a total 'D'OH!'-moment when the name 'Springfield' popped up?
Johnny, what's wrong with Abby Normal? ;))
Supposedly, Camp Crystal Lake was right here in New Jersey. I don't know about that, but I do know that, on this Friday the 14th, I can give this a Friday the 13th, Part V! Agri Lives!
I live near Crystal Lake, IL, but it doesn't have a camp, oddly.
WOW! You can out-parodize most on AmIRight...
Cool, 5s.
Agrimorfee?! You were stalking me while I was gone camping for two weeks? You must have! This is basically what I was doing!!! AMAZING!!!
boy am i out of breath awsome parody im glad i didn't get it. absolutely top job 555 hi de hi !
(Parody Contest) Agri...I've just had to take a Tylenol after reading this. This is a MASSIVE effort on a massive song, and you nailed it perfectly. "And I swear I hear a killer creeping 'round with a knife" floored me. One of your best. Unreservedly 555+
(Parody Challenge) See above!
(Great Parody Challenge) See above! Still love it, especially "Jeff Probst's" part!
(Great Parody Challenge) Well, you've put me off camping for the rest of my life...too bad I''ve got a compulsory Outdoor Ed camp coming up. Oh, well. That's life! Nice work on a really long song!
Holy shiznit, Agrimorfee! A monsterous effort here, especially given how fast TOS is sung, and that narrative in the middle. 555+
Very nice, I especially liked the quasi-Jason reference and the Jeff Propst solo.
(PC) Like Cat said, WOW! that is a hudge effort, Agri - and so many good lines and solutions (loved the "There's a chick who's 17 And I can see her---" which coincided exactly with the OS, where he cuts away mid-sentence - brilliant) and the subs were great, none better than the "...killer creeping round with a knife") - 555
This is seriously awesome, Agri - especially the baseball commentary sub. Well, the whole lot, actually :-)
(SOTM) What can I say that hasn't already been said? TMGLTM, great OS choice, I got a kick out of that fast-paced Jeff Probst narration, and nice Jason references. Ch ch ch ch... ha ha ha ha. 555
(SOTM) lol this was awesome!! it was hilarious, and great job on a monster of a song. it took a while 2 get thru lol ^_^ definatly 555
(SOTM) Cause I really suck at punn, Ill just say it normally, Great song, hilarious, and I give you extra credit on writing a parody to Paradise By The Dashboard Light, that would've been hard, it's a long song! 5-5-5
(SOTM) I loved this in the last contest, and I'm sure it's going to do well this time around. Bravo
(SOTM) Despite the tough OS to pace, this flowed as smooth as a fine scotch. Great job, Agri. 555
Yeah, the Probst part was funny! But the idea is hardly original (cf. "Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh" by Alan Sherman). Well-written, I'll say that much. -- MM
SOTM - Don't know why I haven't commented on this one earlier, I remember reading it when I saw that it had won the previous comp you entered it for, maybe I was interrupted, I don't remember the last part. Great stuff all the way though.
(SOTM) See above!
SOTM-Good
(SOTM) See above.
SOTM-Good
(SOTM) A camp classic.
(SOTM) I'm still very impressed by this one, Agrimorfee.
(SOTM) deserving winner of the parody challenge Aggy, and another great sub I'd like to add to the ones I've previously mentioned was "curse your camping forever" - awesome
(SOTM) Yikes. I do a lot of hard songs, but wow. I don't think this one will be on my to-do list anytime soon ... which makes it that much more impressive that you did it.
SOTM...well up until now I was an avid camper...and now, I'm not sure if I ever want to go again...; )
(SOTM) I'm no camper to begin with. This spoof is almost National Lampoon grade slapstick.
Good job...see above!
I remember this one clearly. Impressive peice of parody you've got her Mr. Agrimorfee, and to think if it wasn't for me you would have never even think about doing, "Paradise By The Dashboard Light"... Or would you? Who knows, but this was certainly impressive, and also extremely funny, not to mention Meat Loaf is my favorite music performer of all time!
(ABC4N) The fly turd fight did it for me. This alone is worth 5's. Great visuals on that, I think? Anyway this one is really funny and brings back a lot of memories with the scouts when I was a kid. Loved the narration as well. Fine job here Ag. Lots of work went into this.
(ABC4N) I loved the combining words to make it fit the original theme "Didja" is my most vivid example. . .your pacing wasn't quite as tight as you are capable of, I had to dock you one point on that. . .but on a humor scale you got me cracking up and I have to forgive the pacing for the will drawn imagery you did with your words. I agree with Guy on the Turd Fight also. . .just the image in my head. . .I had to re-read that line because it was so unexpected.
(ABC4) See above...again.
(ABC4) now the stirrer in me must point out that you've been quite critical of my use of snippets of the OS lyrics in my parodies, Ag, ("donut shop" in Walk/Egyptian and "Starry Starry Night" in R.I.P. Pluto, from memory) and yet I see "Now it's cold and (lonely/rainy) in the deep dark night" "I remember every little thing" "OK here we go" "STOP RIGHT THERE!"....in this piece. just kidding - you know my thoughts on this, which are that coming across unexpected snippets of the OS in a parody improves it by adding a familiar "delight" factor and should be strived for not punished, and your use of the OS's snippets here perfectly makes my point, as does the whole tour-de-force of course - see my above 2 comments to know how impressed I am with this award-winning work
Well-said, and your points are well taken, Stu (and thanks for the comp points, too). I guess it's a questions of the reader's subjective feelings vs. the artist's creative feelings. Sometimes in my writing, I have found, I feel like no other words could replace the emotion being conveyed or how the storyline is progressing. That was my reasons why I kept those phrases intact and may very well be the reasons why you did the same, even though I personally felt they could have been changed. Peace.
my point exactly. In fact my absolute first step in writing a parody is to scan through the OS to find phrases that fit the context of my storyline, then I build the parody around them - I notice Kristof does it too (it's a technique that's detectable in every single one of my parodies) and with "starry starry night" for a Pluto storyline, and "donut shops" for bimbo beauticians, they were both gimmes :-)
An epic write Agrimorfee. Your treatment of an 11 minute OS that moves quickly was excellent. Extra points for the Jeff Probst narrative. I'm so glad my farorite campground is named "Sheraton".
(ABC4N) You know the drill by now, Ag....funny, clever, verbose, rhyme-tastic etc. etc....this is seriously good work.
(abc) That was a "Monster"piece of a song, and the horrors (and laughs), of camping.
Fantastic
Agri, I really enjoyed this on, and hopr it makes it into this year's ABC, but as I look at past comments, was it entered once before?
I can't even begin to describe how awesome this parody is!
Hi Mark...this is an Artistry round entry, not ABC.
My bad (Artistry)...glad it's in...
(Artistry) See above!
I'm still extremely impressed with this one. It's an Agrimorfee classic. I know your going to win this round because if this song doesn't take the gold I don't know what will. This is much much much better than my parody of this song. It means a lot to me too because I've been camping ever since I was a kid with my family and in Boy Scouts and with friends. My life has been nothing but camping for years and now I can read this and reflect on it. I hope this gets recorded but I'm not looking at Dave to do this one because this is basically impossible for one man to perform alone. I mean even Meat Loaf couldn't do it!
(Artistry) I love camping...at the nearest 5-star hotel. And this parody explains why.
SEe above
(Artstry) I'm not the biggest camper, but I still thought this was great.
OK, maybe I have voted twice now.. so sue me :-) This is still bloody marvellous
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