Baby you can knock all night
but I ain't gettin out no way
Hold it for longer than you possibly can
And I'll get back to you Saturday

And maybe you should fly a kite
or maybe you should take up the pottery wheel
I hate when people all line up outside
I wish they'd think of how it makes me feel

I read the Newsweek and I read the Time
I tried to do my business leisurely
I'm tired of listenin to people whine
and I been in the can so long
I'm whizzin Gatorade instead of pee

And all you can do
is keep on yelling that
you waaant to
you neeeeeeeeeeed to
But there ain't no way you ever gonna get to
It's so very sad
That you gotta pee real bad

You'll never find a public restroom in these parts
You're never gonna make it to the Kwik-E-Mart
I know you're lookin for that magic place that must be about
But there ain't no poopy hill hidin' outside somewhere in the back of that house

I can't lie
I can't tell you that I'm still on the pot
No matter how I try
I'll never be able
To serve up something
Something that I just haven't got

There's only one way that I would ever leave
And that was so many beers ago
And you should know you'll never get me out of the can
now I'm takin' a nap
Here I go

You remember that one time I left the seat upright
You were pissed and you smacked me in the head
Now you're pleadin and you're beggin just to walk in this door
How about you wet yourself instead

You keep on yelling that
You keep on yelling that
You keep on yelling that
You waaaant to
You neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed to
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna let you
It's so very sad
That you gotta pee real bad.
It's so. Freakin. Sad.
That you gotta pee real bad

Baby you can knock all night
But I ain't gettin out no way