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Song Parodies -> "I'll Never Fail to Vote Again"

Original Song Title:

"I'll Never Fall in Love Again"

Original Performer:

Mary Chapin Carpenter

Parody Song Title:

"I'll Never Fail to Vote Again"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

Remembering the 2009 Summer's Town Hall meetings, many US legislators during the recent recess avoided contact with constituents, many of whom are unhappy with the increased spending that is feeding broadened entitlements and bailouts. A new breed of conservative candidate is complicating the ballots not only for the primaries but also for the November 2 elections. Some doubt remains whether any real changes, such as budget reform or term limits, can happen even if many incumbents are turned out of office. CHFUDNKTOS.
What do you get when you fail to vote?
A guy with a spin who cursed his double, [1]
Someone you bet forestalls your trouble,
Who'll never fall in love with gain, ;=)
While standing tall above all stain.

When he's a vet, [2] what is his reply?
He's set enough terms to catch amnesia.
Laughing at you, he never sees ya.
I'll never call [3] my senator.
I'll never call my governor.

Polls tell me that this Fall's a bout,
'Cause I'm aware and I'm glad to shout,
Cut off those chains' remains that bind you,
Satisfied that fear is behind you.

What do you get when this Fall you vote?
You'll net enough seats to still lib's motion;
That's what you'll get for your commotion.
I'll never bawl for government's
Vile clever bald entitlements. [4]

What do you get when you loll for GOV?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow.
Lo, for the feast, GOV still must borrow.
I'll never crawl for government's
Mild levers called entitlements!
1] "Double" implies that often there is little difference between candidates.
[2] "Vet" here means a long-serving incumbent.
[3] "Call" here means to be allowed to speak directly.
[4] Full disclosure: I have collected Unemployment Compensation and am collecting Old-age and Survivors benefits. Employer and employee contributions are supposed to fund those programs, but government often spends the money elsewhere.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
BJM - In what musical did this song originally appear? PROMISES, PROMISES! Enough! ;D
Tommy Turtle - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Politics, schmolitics, the astounding syllable-match to the original is worthy of the best vote possible! But why should I bother? - you'll never return my calls or my comments, v/c my songs, and probably change political POV anyway ..... J/K!!!!! 555 +++

(besides, agree wholeheartedly with the message - except that there's usually only the lesser of two evils to choose, and the lesser of two evils is still evil. So I vote Libertarian -- never win, but at least conscience is clear: haven't voted for evil, nor supported the winner's claim that s/he has some "mandate" by getting 26% of the registered voting base.
  Speaking of "Mandate" (parody):
Fiddlegirl - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Ditto TT's comments about the syllable-match to OS... esp. turning"about" into "a bout" -- Brilliant! :) 555
Barry J. Mitchel - September 16, 2010 - Report this comment
WOW (wonder of wonders)! How am I going to keep my humility (until MP and the unobomber visit)?
OMR: Yes, Bacharach & David wrote TOS in 1968 when MCC was 10; she was not first recorder, but I prefer her unelaborated version.
TT: I'll never stall another day (to read your parodies); they're clever, all, above my brain.
Fg: I'm glad you liked that; how about "That is why" becoming "Satisfied"?
Tommy Turtle - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
I'm holding you to that promise, now that I've voted for you .. (sigh -- he's just like all the rest of them, once they have your vote -- j/k! ... and I refuse to believe that moi's parodies are "above" one so obviously intelligent!)

FG was specifically referring to the fine art of taking one word, adding a single space, and making it into two valid words that made perfect sense in the line. Almost *all* of the parody is well-matched, including "that is why/satisfied", but that particular trick was very cool.

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