-> "Quite A Spiteful Night"
Original Song Title:
"Blinded By The Light" (MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"Quite A Spiteful Night"
I'd been hired to hype
a fundraising do, set up to help the homeless plight
I thought I'd invite
a hundred and two celebs and umpteen socialites
Wined and dined all night,
their touchiness grew, so it was not a pretty sight
Bab's band's drummer tried to injure Suzanne Somers when she leaned on his hi-hat
then that dork to whom Mork in every episode would talk, asked Mindy "Why so fat?"
In the morning there'd been warnings - seeeemed it could get stormy - some shit was sure to go down
the celebs were all needling, greasing and sleazing, and the night would soon get outa hand
wasn't quite the event that I planned
Mike Moore's appetite
the cupcakes vamoosed before the other guests arrived
Michael Tyson sly
-ly trumpeted to...Evander "Did you get a bite?"
Likewise out of spite
Ms Lopez refused to let Ben's girlfriend "Out Of Sight"
Irate, Ben replied
engulfing her hooters with a shaken can of Sprite
Some silly big sister of Denise Richards dissed her - coz she once loved Melrose Place
"She said I gave you that, sister, coz you once snogged...
Heather's man. You're a big disgrace"
and loco Yoko was checkin' out the toilet bowl to try to get some shit on Paul
and Angelina earnestly told magazines and journos she "doesn't love her daddy at all"
ALL before we opened the doors!
"Crikey, in hindsight,
it mighta been wise to televise by satellite.
In this town paparazzi pay up when the celebs are impolite
I thought I'll tape 'em
...on the sly
[** MOODY INSTRUMENTAL AS I WRESTLE WITH THE VALUES
YOU TAUGHT ME, MAMA **]
oh Mama! I know it's cunning
but Mama! It's kinda funny!
Mama always told me not to try to make a fool of someone...
think of the money!
[** AS ELTON PLAYS CHOPSTICKS
I HIDE MY DIGITAL RECORDER IN MY COAT AND SEARCH FOR MATERIAL **]
There's cheek-bone-lifted Joan
Rivers taunting Sharon Stone: "Darling...cross your legs!
and then Rosie O...Donnell's comb...she ran over Donald's dome, to see if she could find quail eggs
eminem and...Moby then...traded blows til 10am (neither of them did much harm)
Tonya Hardin'...yet again...knee-whacked Nancy Kerrigan, and blamed it on HER bodyguard
and then Nancy called Tonya a tart
and then the
strike before midnight
a drunken Tom Cruise told Mel he liked the Israelites
Mel then impolite
-ly told Tom he goosed young Katie on a Qantas flight
Katie then replied
that Mel should abuse himself (a la hermaphrodites)
Slyly Mel enquired
"so Kate is it TRUE that Tom has never been inside?"
whilst off to the right
Kate Moss and Sienna Miller got into a fight
quite not what you might
call ladylike - lest they're making "LADY" gelignite
Spiked the fahrenheit
of males at their tables who got way over-excited
Frightened, Kate then tried
to run off and hide except her nostrils were too wide
By that time, outside
Naomi and Tyra were debating who's less white
Tyra spied a pie
I ducked down
but my camera got crunched
and then the Food Fight...
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|How Funny: ||5.0|
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